Thursday, October 19, 2017

My One. My Only.

Of all those girls who turned your head back in high school...... why me?
Those quite a bit prettier, quite a bit softer, quite a bit....... less....... me. 
But, there it is....... 


Every day for the past 25 years, you have chosen me.


I have sat at your feet.
I have cried in your arms.
I have brought our children into the world.
I have put my foot down and I have crumbled with humble release.

How did you know?

How did you know that our combination of love, passion, humor, respect, strength, and commitment would carry us?

How did you know that we would become U/us?

For me

I knew it was you.
I knew that my heart would never survive spending my life without you.  

I knew that nothing would taste as sweet or feel as warm if I didn’t chose you.

I saw your strength and knew you would protect me.  
I saw your kindness and knew you would be the only Man that I would raise a family with.
I saw your smile......... and I was never the same.

You have righted our course more times than I can count.
You have held me on the most genuine pedestal of admiration and love.
You placed a song in my heart that was handwritten for only me.
You have created a HOME built on a foundation that is unbreakable.

“I love you” has never been enough.
“I serve you” came closer.

“I will take care of you”

Now, that is everything I have in one declaration.

YES baby.  
I will take care of you.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

To the invader of my happiness- FUCK YOU!

Where do you go at 4am and the world is asleep- but not you?

My private blog.
Oh you Googlers who come upon a sexy blog only to find that it’s a long time blogger having non-sexy problems..... I remember skipping past those..... at first.
you learn to care for the person behind the sub and their love for their partner who happens to be their Dom/me.
You share joy with them and their new baby, you share sorrow with them as they grieve the loss of a loved one......

Something I am quite certain I have never blogged about but certainly thought about was..... what if?

What if something happened to my Man?
What if he got sick?
What if I had to jump in the driver’s seat?

I no longer have to wonder, what if....

FUCK YOU cancer, FUCK YOU very much.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

To the point.....kind of

As I was mindlessly watching a video of a woman playing the piano, I had a moment.

  Dejavu I suppose.

I remember watching a movie, or TV show, where this young woman was in a piano lesson.  Her teacher held a sharpened pencil, pointing up, next to the piano keys.  The expectation was that the woman keep her wrists high while she played.  Consequently, when she didn't, her wrists would be poked by the sharp pencil.

I remembered this scene.  And, I remembered how it made me feel.
It was invigorating.

It wasn't the teacher, it wasn't the student, it wasn't even the damn piano.
The predicament.
The consequence.
Good God I loved the butterflies I felt!

How is this the first time I have thought about that in the 5+ years we have been down this road?!

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

busy coasting

opportunity for growth.

always there.

the love of my life.

always there.

have you ever just coasted?

there is a lack of closure when you just.............coast.
maybe not a lack of closure really, nothing is ending.

a lack of


with effort-  there can be so much more.

i like more.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Modern conveniences.

It has been a LONG time................................

Our house was built in small stages long before we moved in.  A room here......a room there......a little cottage meant for the summer many years ago now a family home.


The electrical outlets in our room went out.  No big deal.....we roll with the punches......for a handful of reasons we needed to wait for our fix-it guy to, well, fix it.


Please, follow me on this.

One month.  NO HITACHI!

Now, my submissive men-friends (sub hub....sub love.....) I get that there is a sense of satisfaction for you as you are denied orgasm from your amazingly Dominant wives........


If I could have literal BLUE balls......I would have!  I ached in a way I cannot even explain!  Having vaginal (g-spot) orgasms throughout that month only made the aching congestion worse.

Maybe if this was an intended denial I would have received it better and with more grace?  My Man offered more than once for me to bring my friend downstairs and use a working plug......our family time just really didn't allow for that.

And then......

It happened.........

With power restored my Man reminded me that no one else was home and there was a vibrator waiting for me!!!

Oh.  Sweet.  Jesus!

Swats from the crop peppering my breasts and thighs turned into my head tilted back over the bed and my mouth being fucked.  I came.  Too many times to count and too many times to even see straight.

My Man walked out of our bedroom.  Sat in the living room chair.  Called me to get on my knees and suck on him.  After a short time, he sent me back to our bedroom......

Have another.  Then, come back.

I did.

The staggered back to him.  Back to my knees.

Go again. 

I did.

As I got up from the bed, he calls out..........Three more.

I became a literal puddle.  The release was unreal.  All tension, gone.  All anxieties, gone.  All congestion binding up my vagina for a month, gone!

I begrudgingly admitted to myself that the wait added to the euphoria I otherwise would only have experienced a fraction of.  An interesting lesson for sure.

Sunday, March 12, 2017


It's a bit of a ghost town lately.  I am part of that too.  Blog friends I regularly laughed with and shared with are a bit missing.......

Such is life.

My Man and I are coasting along.  So many plans we are working on- a toned down dynamic is always there.  Toned down is never easy for me.  As it turns out, it isn't that easy for him either.  As we talked he shared how when we started, this was for me.....for what I needed.  He has come to realize that HE needs me to be submissive.  There is a pull for each of us in a direction that feeds us both.  How lucky are we!?  So often in relationships individuals just grow apart.  Before you know each want something different.

We do want something different, together.

I love different.
I crave different.
I am different.

Lucky for me..........


Monday, January 23, 2017

Am I right?!

Sometimes it just doesn't matter who's right.

For example......

The 5th anniversary.


I chose to give him a new olive wood paddle.
He chose to give me new handmade leather cuffs in my favorite colors.

See, Win/win.  

*I just looked it up and the 5th anniversary IS wood! I thought it would have been even funnier if we both got it wrong!  Maybe the D/s 5th anniversary is different!?!  We have been married over 18 years so I think we're good with anything we choose!

XOXO Pearl

Saturday, January 21, 2017

The Submissive Feminist.

Maybe that would be the title of my autobiography.  

In the middle of spitting nails, preaching to my girls that they are below NO ONE ever, I submit.
In the middle of proud tears and passionate words, I submit.
In the middle of feeling stronger and more capable than ever, I submit.

Those of you who share this brand of submission know full well the dichotomy of growing stronger through letting go.  As you first enter that dual role, it can be confusing and difficult to know when to SHINE and when to shine.  Then, you realize, the two are not separate.

You S/shine because you are part of a union that needs you in all that you are.

Sometimes, years down the line, you need to
Revitalize your commitment....
Revitalize your promise....

Renew your acknowledgement that these two parts of you are vital to who you are in the union.