"STORE CLOSING.....50% OFF!"
This is the sign my Man and I saw in the window of a saddlery store. You know where this is going, don't you!? We have talked about adding a crop to our toy box. We have even almost went a time or two to a store to find said riding crop.
We went inside!
A sale damn it. I am a sucker for a sale.
As it turns out..... I'm also a prude!!!!! I was SHOCKED at how embarrassed I felt. I'm not sure if it was the older woman owner who could tell in the first 5 seconds that we knew nothing about horses?
"Are you looking for English or Western?" She says.
In my head I say,
"When He swats me really good we joke that he got some 'English' in it. So, English?"
But, what comes out is,
"I don't know anything about horses."
Smooth..... Really smooth......
It becomes even more painful as I explain that my friend owns a horse (truth) and I'm looking for her (untruth). I text my friend (truth) and casually say "she will text me to let me know what she wants" (untruth).
I slowly stroll up and down the isles.
I have no problem stairing in horny giddiness at the leather collars and straps....but the fucking crop.....I can't even make eye contact with it's
My internal dialog is a mess.
There they are.
At the front?
How did we not see them!?!
Oh my God.
They're smaller than I thought.
A whippy tail one?!
She sees it on my face.
This is NOT for a horse.
And, against every bet I would have ever made about my comfort with my sexuality......... We walked out...... Empty handed.
What the hell?!