Oh, how fun would it be if the title was reference to a real saddle......maybe a crop........
Back to the real post!!!
After a stint of a complete change in my away from home (working) hours we came to a realization. O/our love and O/our life together is MOST important. **Trust me, this is not something we ever questioned.....just re-committed to when a "golden" opportunity arose** The new change offered much in many ways but it took away what my Man and I cherish most......U/us. The vanilla us was completely unchanged. No friction, no marriage frustrations....on the surface, I am sure our union looked even stonger as we supported each other through the upheaval. But, the growing strength between us made our true life too unbalanced.
Zero spankings. I mean ZERO.
No mainatenence = scattered Pearl
No punishments = vanilla home
Vanilla home = like living with your buddy
Again, in the mainstream, all of this should work. We should be content. No complaints.....no strife......no problem!? Wrong. What it boils down to- is no passion. I even struggled to cum when we did finally have a free moment to connect. It is actually a bit terrifying when your Dom says "cum for me".........and......
"Terrifying" may seem like an exaggeration but here's the thing. I am owned. For the past 2+ years I only cum when he has given permission. I masterbate if says I can. I cum when he says "CUM". And this works for us......this IS U/us! We have worked very hard to create a life based on our love for each other and reject the conventional notion that materials and things make us who we are.
I am the naked woman in His bed.
I am the strong woman who softens when she has over-stepped with her words.
I am the reason he walks taller.
We still have to survive in the basic sense of needing "things". But, there is such a difference when you choose to serve the wrong passion. My service, my energy, all went elsewhere. We chose to try it out. We knew it may not be for U/us. And......we were right.
He spent many nights without me. I spent many days in a fog. The balance was so off balance, it reminded me of the early days as I struggled to navigate professional control with personal servitude. All of the work we had done over the past 4 years was placed neatly to the side. Pearl and her Man stepped aside while the typical life crept in......as I write this, I can visually see our life turning from one of vibrant color and a tangible warmth to a slow fade of gray.....a dull hum of living....a life equivalent to living with a buddy.
No thank you.
And, just like that.........we have decided to re-make our house..... O/our home. Our home runs warm when I am there to finish dishes every night, as a good girl. O/our home runs colored with passion when my Man (re)trains my body to respond to his. O/our home has balance when His passion is to lead and my passion is to serve. It's summer and the kiddos are home so the spanking in our home still needs some time to return but I assure you, my heart, my service, and my behind will be thankful when that amazing Man of mine bends me over our bed (or ties me down....) and reminds U/us both who we are in our home.
And so......my dishes have been done, my towels are at the bedside (I was instructed to buy new towels just for me!!!!!!! Odd and ironic fact....as the color returns to our life.....I choose gray towels! WTF!!??), he has been focusing on retraining my body for pleasure and for service. Did you all know that nipple pinching is a training tool?
Vanilla life.........it's boring and overrated.
We are back in the saddle......and with any luck, this good girl can earn a crop to make it complete!!!