Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Back in the saddle.

Oh, how fun would it be if the title was reference to a real saddle......maybe a crop........

Back to the real post!!!

After a stint of a complete change in my away from home (working) hours we came to a realization.  O/our love and O/our life together is MOST important.  **Trust me, this is not something we ever questioned.....just re-committed to when a "golden" opportunity arose**  The new change offered much in many ways but it took away what my Man and I cherish most......U/us.   The vanilla us was completely unchanged.  No friction, no marriage frustrations....on the surface, I am sure our union looked even stonger as we supported each other through the upheaval.  But, the growing strength between us made our true life too unbalanced.

Zero spankings. I mean ZERO.

No mainatenence = scattered Pearl

No punishments = vanilla home

Vanilla home = like living with your buddy

Again, in the mainstream, all of this should work.  We should be content.  No problem!?    Wrong.   What it boils down to- is no passion.  I even struggled to cum when we did finally have a free moment to connect.  It is actually a bit terrifying when your Dom says "cum for me".........and......




"Terrifying" may seem like an exaggeration but here's the thing.  I am owned.  For the past 2+ years I only cum when he has given permission.  I masterbate if says I can.  I cum when he says "CUM".  And this works for us......this IS U/us!  We have worked very hard to create a life based on our love for each other and reject the conventional notion that materials and things make us who we are.

I am the naked woman in His bed.
I am the strong woman who softens when she has over-stepped with her words.
I am the reason he walks taller.

We still have to survive in the basic sense of needing "things".  But, there is such a difference when you choose to serve the wrong passion.  My service, my energy, all went elsewhere.  We chose to try it out.  We knew it may not be for U/us.  And......we were right.

He spent many nights without me.  I spent many days in a fog.  The balance was so off balance, it reminded me of the early days as I struggled to navigate professional control with personal servitude. All of the work we had done over the past 4 years was placed neatly to the side.  Pearl and her Man stepped aside while the typical life crept I write this, I can visually see our life turning from one of vibrant color and a tangible warmth to a slow fade of gray.....a dull hum of living....a life equivalent to living with a buddy.

No thank you.

And, just like that.........we have decided to re-make our house..... O/our home.  Our home runs warm when I am there to finish dishes every night, as a good girl.  O/our home runs colored with passion when my Man (re)trains my body to respond to his.  O/our home has balance when His passion is to lead and my passion is to serve.  It's summer and the kiddos are home so the spanking in our home still needs some time to return but I assure you, my heart, my service, and my behind will be thankful when that amazing Man of mine bends me over our bed (or ties me down....) and reminds U/us both who we are in our home.  

And dishes have been done, my towels are at the bedside (I was instructed to buy new towels just for me!!!!!!! Odd and ironic the color returns to our life.....I choose gray towels! WTF!!??), he has been focusing on retraining my body for pleasure and for service.  Did you all know that nipple pinching is a training tool?

Vanilla's boring and overrated.

We are back in the saddle......and with any luck, this good girl can earn a crop to make it complete!!!


  1. What are we going to be thinking about as our life winds down and we know we'll be moving on soon? I like to think we'll be Remembering the happier times of our lives, times filled with love, family, friends and mother nature. If we're thinking of the promotion we got instead of another or fondly remembering how we gave so much of our lives in search of the almighty dollar, I think that we'd not have spent our time on earth too wisely. I imagine that there is a small percentage of the population that would be truly satisfied with the latter scenario I described but the overwhelming majority would rather the first.

    We have to work. It builds character, lets us provide for ourselves and be able to help others. It's good, BUT it shouldn't be defining. You've just gone through a special time in your life. Learned lessons, reinforced others. I believe it's the love and the goodness we are a part of in this life that will serve us best in whatever comes next. Else why would it feel so good to us?

    Thank you for sharing from your heart Pearl. You do it very well. Live, learn and keep teaching those kiddos what's really important!

    Now on ttwd front, it's very apparent that at the core of the happiness in your home is a happily surrendered and submissive wife and her loving Dom. When that is front and center the rest of life just flows better!

    The line that grabbed me the most from this post?

    I am the naked woman in His bed.

    You could probably write an in-depth post on just that little sentence and all it means. To you, to him and to each other. I can only imagine how it feels for you to look at yourself that way, as the naked woman in his bed....

    Cinch that saddle up tight and stay on that ride! I hope you guys find that groove you're looking for asap and this summer is a great one!

    Sorry for such a rambly long comment!

    1. You are an observant reader, sublove.....

      "I am the naked woman in His bed."

      There is a great deal of meaning to this. More than I have ever discussed. The story behind the actions is so very important to me, I would not do well in a relationship where the reasoning behind the actions was always "just because".

      I am truly thankful for thoughts...thank you for taking the time to write them out!!

  2. Hi Pearl, this is such a great post. I think we all struggle with the balance between vanilla life and our professional and submissive lives at times. So glad you two are re-focusing and getting back in the saddle :)


    1. Thank you Roz....there is a balance for all of us. I think it is so important to write about the mundane and struggle just as the delicious and fun!

  3. I can relate to so much of this. You know often I get caught in the trap of ' why isn't our life as colourful without D/s ?'. Funny really because I am forever telling our kids the big lie is there is no 'normal' and yet when it sometimes comes to my relationship with my husband I wonder why we don't seem as close when we are normal/vanilla.

    great post

    1. There is no 'normal' Willie..... I so agree!! Besides, what fun would normal be anyway!?

  4. What's interesting to me since we've gone down this path, is all conflict we have stems from the vanilla side of life. The passion and color, no matter what the situation, remains steadfast. Amy

    1. The passion and color are what give our life, LIFE! I read somewhere that a life without passion is a slow way to die......I could not agree more.

  5. this was so lovely to read.. and hopefully you DO earn that crop soon and we'll be reading about a different "saddle" :)

  6. I so agree that vanilla life is often over rated...and nipple pinching is positively a training tool around here. I love crops, they reach into such interesting places...hope yours get to reach soon.
    hugs abby

    1. You ladies have me very excited to earn a crop!!