Monday, February 8, 2016

There is beauty in all that I am...because of You.

Text from my Man:
I thought you'd like this. I am doing some reading, trying to be a better me, in return making a better you.

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader.
I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
I want a man lying over me, always over me.
His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work,
his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot.
I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually,
artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want
to be dominated.  I don't mind being told to stand on my
own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing,
I but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the
will of a male, at his time, his bidding."
-Anaïs Nin

My reply:
I could have written it- you are right, I love it. Thank you babe.

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He found it on a site/blog and thought that maybe it was something I wrote (until seeing the author's name at the end).  Besides the fact that, had I written this, it would have only referred to one male, it truly is who I am.  The fact that he saw this and saw, me, makes my heart full.  

Part of my femaleness and my service to who W/we are, is my ability to intellectually hold my ground and financially support my family.  Through blog land, I have come to realize that there is no "typical" power exchange relationship.  The books would have you believe that to be a true submissive you would be at home awaiting instruction at all times, on the ready and never having a purposeful role beyond.  They lay an unfair and unrealistic setting of the head of household earning millions in his suit and tie and his eye candy submissive serving drinks in stelletos and a corset made of rope when he returns home from a long day of Dominating the world.  Those books are steamy, hot, sexually charged, and fiction.  They have their place, they certainly do (I am guilty of reading until 4am in my sub-frenzy days).  But they lack responsibility to the truth of what this lifestyle can entail. 

Just as ridiculous as it would be to say that ONLY skinny, red headed girls with brown eyes would make a good submissive, I now find it ridiculous to question my true femaleness and submissiveness based on the fact that I am not maintaining the home.  I used to have conflicted understanding on who I was at home and who I was outside of the home.  This is no longer the case (I have other issues to obsess about now!).  

I am a submissive.  
I am HIS submissive alone. 
I masterbate only when given permission.
I am respectful in my words to Him.
I sleep by His side, naked.
I accept training to deep throat better.
I apologize when I gag.
I know my ass can and will be fucked any time He chooses.

I am spanked, 
as a maintenance reminder of who I am for U/us
as a way to give me focus and calm
and now, yes, I am spanked for punishment.

I make our bed each morning.
I finish dishes every night.
I shower and am in bed (naked) by 1030p. Every night.
If those maintenance chores are not completed. There is consequence.
There is no more allowance when my 12hour work day turns into 14hours. 
All of who I am is wrapped in the absolutely beautiful package of being the kind of submissive that my Man is in need of.  He does not wear a suit and tie to work but he still makes my heart stop.  In his own way- he saves the world.  That is much sexier to me than if he were to Dominate the world.  I prefer him to wait to shave.  I love the stubble, the scruff.  I love that I have now found TWO gray hairs in the scruff of his beard.  It makes me feel even more sexy, as I am not the only one aging.  

I don't have a martini awaiting his arrival home, he doesn't really drink anything more than iced tea.  He usually has chilled wine awaiting my arrival home.
I have never served him in a corset made of rope.
But DAMN do I hope to remedy that situation! 

New subbies (and Dom/mes for that matter), allow for YOU and your partner to decide what your power exchange will look like.   Read the books, read the articles, and PLEASE read the blogs =) you will find some new ideas and some new friends even.  Just know that only you and your partner can decide what makes you a good girl, pet, slave, baby girl, slut.

7 comments:

  1. I come here and read...and often amazed at your words. They ring so true, they are words..this post and many others...that I hope all those starting out, those still searching, and those that think they have it all figured out will read. I love your last paragraph...Your last sentence is priceless....
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. abby, I adore you for your feedback! This post meant/means a GREAT deal to me and I am thankful you "see" what I trying to convey. Thank you!!

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  2. I agree with abby ...

    You can put in to words what most of us don't know how to say. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. GK
      #1. Soooooo good to see you around again! I am sorry for the rough spot you had to go through but I am thankful to read about the new adventures you are having!!
      #2. Thank you right back. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your kind words. Again, this post means a great deal to me....it poured out of me and I just needed to say it. For me and for other subs (or Dom/mes) who needed to hear it too.

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  3. I simply love how you love him, just by reading this post I would think that I wrote it. I Cant wait to see more of your posts.

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    Replies
    1. I came late to this comment and it seems your blog is gone =(. Thank you for the lovely sentiment and I hope to see you around!
      XOXO Pearl

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  4. I simply love how you love him, just by reading this post I would think that I wrote it. I Cant wait to see more of your posts.

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