Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Only the beginning...

In reference to me always researching and reading about This Thing That WE Do...
My Man said to me not long ago,

I want to punish you.
But you haven't done anything wrong. 
What is that called?

At the time my answer was,

Your choice.

I thought about it a lot more since that night and although I was right in that it would be His choice, I think the actual answer is that it would be called "sadistic".  

Deriving pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

Is my Man sadistic?
How do I feel about it... If he is??

If a Dom can assess His sub's true interest in activities by the wetness of her ever betraying cunt then I think I may be able to assess my Man's interest in sadistic type behaviors by the response of HIS growing cock.  To be quite honest, my Man is his absolutely MOST hard and long after he has been punishing my ass.  Spanking, paddling, blind tilt caning.... You name it...The proof cannot be denied.

The harder he swats-the more I squirm..
The more I squirm-the more he controls...
The more he controls-the deeper I surrender...
The deeper I surrender-the further he pushes my limits.

And, when I check....He appears to be enjoying himself very well.  =)

Does He derive pleasure from inflicting pain on me?
I think I can say, yes.
Tormenting, sexual pain....YES.
Injury pain.  No.

In many areas, I am stretched beyond my own comforts.

For His pleasure.
For my growth.
For O/our fun.

Would I go any of these places on my own?
Some, yes.
Others, certainly not.

Does He derive pleasure from my suffering?
Do I even suffer?
I endure.
My limits are pushed.  My boundaries are stretched.
My trust in Him allows my own abilities to transcend what I can endure and how deeply I can feel.
O/our agreement to this lifestyle means I do not suffer.

Does He derive pleasure from humiliating me?
This is an interesting one.
My answer is surprising to me and I think it may surprise Him as well?
Yes.  He does in fact derive pleasure from humiliating me.

I have to refer back to the inflicting pain question.
Tormenting, sexual humiliation, YES.
Emotional injury.  No.

After I have been long since tied up, suitably used and spanked.
He likes to whisper in my ear...

How nice would it be for you to just have to watch as I fucked someone right over there.  
All tied up.  
You can't do anything but watch as I slide my cock all the way into her.

There is also the occasional face slapping as I take Him deep into my mouth.

I think He is just at the beginning of finding His love of humiliating me.  Objectifying me.
As the social conditioning wares thin we are left with what makes our hearts pound, our parts swell, and our bond deepen.

And, to answer my own question.....
If my Man is sadistic, how do I feel about it?

-I guess I will just have to let Him interpret what that means!


  1. Great post - love your answer to his question.

    1. Thank you DF! I had thought of writing this post for quite some time but the thought behind that question (and the answer) just keep churning and churning in the mind.

      Thanks again!

  2. Sometimes the control aspect is the biggest and best turn on. Other times it is just the sexy talk that he does. It doesn't matter what makes you wet in the long run. All that matters is that you enjoy each other. I know that I enjoy my Owner very, very much and would have him no other way. The fun and eroticism is great, but the growth we experience together is what makes every tear worthwhile. I feel so close to him during our play. I call it play, but play you can do without. I don't think I could do without what we do together. I wouldn't feel whole. Something would be missing. I would continue to live, but what is living without passion?

    1. Crysania, I so agree. With every word you wrote.....

      "...but what is living without passion?"

      You have it so right!