Sunday, January 17, 2016

Better for you.


It's not easy when you are the source of hurt.  To the one I would give my life for.  The actual event being months ago.  He wanted me to know.  He is wanting to be a better leader for me.  Wanting to research.  We have been there before.  He is brought back to my words....and hurt/angered all over again.

This  one is difficult not to regret.

We are good.  Amazing actually.  Some things just cannot be unread.  We will love each other through it all.  


Actions speak louder than words.

He corrected me.......

HIS actions speak louder than her words.


                                             Image result for beautiful submissive wife
Vulnerability?

Friday, January 15, 2016

"How to talk to wife about fisting"

From time to time I peak at the traffic sources on my stats for the current search phrases readers have used to find my blog.

To the husband looking to find out how to talk to his wife about fisting...... I wish you good luck!  If she is willing, it may open up a whole new world for you both.  It was my first act of submission to my Man and I am thankful we never looked back!!!

PS
Take it
S l o w.

PSS
How is this the first post of mine with the label "fisting"!?!? Maybe because I really don't like the word =).  (Update: I must have been sleeping when I looked at the labels for my posts...."fisting" is there....7 TIMES!!)

PSSS
I am noticing a trend about me and specific words lately.....

Monday, January 11, 2016

The "D" word.

I have never said much of anything on the topic, as I'm not sure I have a real opinion either way.  The word, however, has come out of my mouth twice now during play time.  Sure, I've said it in our vanilla life- very often in fact.  But, during sexy time!?

 Hmmmmmm.....

The first time was shortly after he read my hateful un-posted post.  I was in full clit orgasm denial and being punishingly teased and denyed.  I begged him, over and over to PLEASE use the little clit pump on me.  Not to cum- just to have some relief (like that really mattered- but I thought it did at the time).

Please babe!  Please!

NO

Please!!!

Over and over, the answer was
NO

Then, it came out.......

Please, Daddy!

NO!!

It was not acknowledged, there was no change of pace.

But
I
Said
It

I am not against calling him "Daddy", but that is a title that requires some discussion.  Maybe in the same way it would be good for him to know that calling me a "cum hungry whore with holes that are only good for fucking" does not gross me out or offend me, quite the opposite actually.  Having him call me that is a loving reminder that of all the fuck-holes on Earth, he chooses to fuck MY three fuck holes...and a proper "Thank you" would include opening wide when he says so.  (Now I'm wet. Damn it.)

The second time was more purposeful... He said he had been thinking about what he wanted to be referred to as, and how he wanted to refer to himself when taking to me.  As in...

Your {insert title here} wants you to shave your pussy.

"Dom"
"Master"
"Owner"

Don't specifically speak to him.

I sheepishly add...

i like calling you "Daddy". i just don't know if it creeps you out.

It doesn't creep me out.  
He answers, as he continues to slam his fingers into me.

And there you have it.  No title settled on but the "D" words is out in the open.

I have been searching names and titles for the Domly one in the house but nothing really sounds respectful, fitting and unique.  Many of the suggested titles are too bedroom play or scene based.  Nothing wrong with calling him "King" as long as we're dressed up for the occasion.  I can't take many of those titles seriously for the day to day.

Not sure if "Daddy" does anything for him...

Friday, January 8, 2016

A post for thought...

I save links to posts that speak to me and to who W/we are.  I save them to go back to, to re-visit, to share with you all, to share with my Man.

Dauntless Vitality authored a post on his blog, A Dauntless Journey, that very much spoke to me and to what it is I am and what I need as a sub.  "The Time And Effort She Deserves..." is well thought out, and very well written.  He actually used the exact word I have used before, "floundering".  I have seen one other blogger use that term to describe what it feels like to be figuring this all out and to feel like you are alone.  That word evokes a sense of vulnerability in me that I am still surprised by.  I associate vulnerability with fear.  Fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of failure.

Is fear the very basis of vulnerability? Or, can vulnerability be based in a more positive emotion?  For me, I think I need a new word.  Being vulnerable conveys that I am risk.  I am not at risk.  My Man is not at risk.  I would like to think of vulnerability in a different light, with a positive spin, but I cannot.
  
Putting all that I have out there for him and He doing the same for me allows us room to grow in ways we could not have alone.  It opens us to stretching outside of our comfort zone.  Sometimes it is uncomfortable, sometimes even painful.  The pain may be inevitable, however, suffering is a choice.  We can grow through and because of the pain, but we do not suffer.  We grow.

Vulnerable is unprotected, I am not unprotected.  I have a protector.

This post may seem scattered, but I assure you, in my 110mph mind it makes complete sense =)

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

What do you get the Man who has everything?

As an anniversary gift to each other we had a night away in a little cabin, just for us.  This lifestyle requires a bit of soundproof privacy (if we are doing it right!) and we found our spot.  Not at all in the middle of nowhere but a personal cabin none the less.

My gift to him, the longest & best body massage of his life. I was honestly sweating everywhere as I pushed, pulled, dug in and worked out every knot over every inch of his body.  We were freshly out of the tub just prior so I also took some liberties to play with his ass a bit as I massaged him.  Licking and playing, just enough to remind him that this is NOT a massage from just anyone.  I can do things to him no one else in the world can do- and I very much wanted him to remember this massage as the best ever.

After about an hour I began incorporating the ass play more and more, making it obvious that this was now heading to the "happy ending" phase of the gift.  I LOVE a good long tease.  The build up is as sensual to my parts as I (think) it is for his!  How I can feel sub space when I am in charge and taking him over is beyond me, but I did.  I was drunk on the connection between us. I very slowly pushed into him looking to find that sweet spot.  I love to hear him, to hear his absolute passion for me and all that I do to him.  At some point he turns over and I have MY gift, hard and waiting for my mouth to take it in.

I want to consume him, both literally and figuratively.

I give him every sensation...
Shallow sensual adoration at the top.
Deep surrendered breathlessness to the bottom.
Never stopping my original intentions of milking every last drop from him.

He does not enjoy the level of sensation that I do, it's difficult for me to remember that.  But, I do, and I am careful to only do what makes him moan with pleasure.  I am rewarded with an absolutely full mouth. And like a very good girl, I swallowed.  Only after he said I could.