Punishment is still visibly fresh on my bottom. Still a bit tender.
My intent to serve is focused, as is His intent to lead.
Yes Amy, I do believe we have a dance, my Man and I.
He says as he strokes my bare bottom, spreading my bottom hole.
I might not want this right now but I need to know that you will take all of me when I do.
I relax as he explores. He pokes and prods, testing my obedience to be a good fuck hole.
*As a side note, do you other subs get an actual high as you surrender to being objectified, explored, and pained for pleasure?!? I cannot imagine that I am the only one addicted to this! I KNOW I'm not =) actually. Just kidding =)
You are still on punishment with clit orgasms but do you want me to make you cum tonight?
Get my stick.
I am slightly confused. More punishments? I have been a good girl but I can always do better. His punishments are warranted and never questioned. Our stick has not been for play or maintenance lately. He now decides on punishments and the past few times He has asked for His stick it is to reign in His distracted sub-wife. I have a new inner peace that I go to when I start to question, worry, analyze. And, as I grab His stick, I go to that surrendered place. Punishment or pleasure. His decision makes these two words slightly irrelevant. My inner dialogue is unnecessary. He will say the words I am to hear and my body will feel exactly what He wants it to feel.
He begins a tap-swat rhythm and covers my entire backside. There are no words of correction, only directions of what position He is wanting me in and the order to tell Him if any strikes become too hard. At some point He orders me face down on the bed and ass high in the air then pulls my arms up above my head and places my hands around one of the headboard logs. I notice the strain immediately of having my arms extended and placed over my pillow so I move my right arm under the pillow and back to the holding post. My Man quickly removes my hand and positions my arm back above the pillow and back to holding in place. This interaction between us is so calming. I honestly cannot remember if a correction swat was given because in that moment there was nothing for me to overthink- the exchange occurred and I was simply given to Him.
After quite a few position changes and even more swats of all strengths He begins to pepper in some much stronger hits.
**sorry, another side note. He mentioned after my punishment spanking a few days ago that this (blind tilt cane-type) stick had become curved so badly during that spanking that he had to keep turning it to straighten it out and He did consider how fitting it would have been had He actually broken the stick on my ass. These swats are strong but still nowhere near my punishment evening.
I am vaguely aware that my bruises are now getting bruises. The reintroduced pain on those spots is equally relieving and deeply painful. He is pushing my endurance and I would stay there with Him until I collapsed if I had to.
He places the stick next to us on the bed....
You have been so good this week. If you want more hard ones you are going to have to ask me.
You can have them, you deserve them, but you have to ask me.
All the while He is scratching past my welts and marks with His fingernails, making me writhe.
Can I have another please?
I squeak out.
I can feel this deep in my core as I recover by breathing. He continues to torment my freshly beaten ass with His scratches until I ask for the next one.
Can I have another please?
He even offers me a choice as He taps each of my bottom cheeks,
Or this one?
I choose the less hurty one.
My asking slows down, positions and activities change, events become blurred. At some point I am directed to get the lube. On all fours, I reach into my bedside cabinet, grab the lube and hand it to Him. He places my towel under me as He coats my soft parts. He hasn't fisted me in a while but I understand that this needs to happen. This is the purest act of submission for me- before we became D/s this was my first act of submission to Him and the first time He took full control and decided my limit was much further. He was right.
He coats me inside and out. I am so tight. He places fingers inside me, coaxing, stretching....
I breath slowly and release any remaining control. He proceeds further as I squeak little cries out. No effort is behind my cries, my body is limp as I provide no resistance to where my Man is taking me. My body reminds Him how long it has been and as He patiently opens me a little at a time. He changes my position, looking to find less resistance.
How many times has my hand been inside you?
I don't know baby, a lot.
I whimper out in surrendered pain.
Right. So you can take me.
Little sobs escape my mouth.
This is unexpectedly difficult for me, I am not physically allowing Him in easily and my tolerance is straining. Long ago, I would beg for Him to talk to me at his point unsure of how to let go. We have found our balance now and our abilities to lead and follow have just melded together.
He continues to talk to me. Continues to push through my body's natural resistance. And, after what
seems like an eternity I am begging to cum. He has brought me to a place of perfect servitude. What I would have stopped long ago and said I could take no more, He not only wanted more but knew I had more to give to Him. I am crying out numbers as I count each orgasm out for Him soaking the towel below me. He likes me to feel this. He needs me to let go. He likes to hear my cries as each layer of my body and soul is stretched to wrap around Him. There is NOTHING quite like this surrender.