Wednesday, November 4, 2015

A little Pearl of wisdom...

I remember a lesbian discussing the difference between actually wanting to be with a woman and just playing along with someone.  She said, when you think of you and the woman are you doing things TO her or is she just doing things to you? Meaning- could it be just anyone between your legs or does it turn you on to lick her, hold her, make her cum?

This made sense to me. Do you really desire a woman and all the things you can do to her, with her, and for her? Or, are you just playing along to get yourself off?

I have been thinking that the same could apply to a Dom/sub pairing.  If your partner is a sub and you love the way s/he serves you, love the constant blow jobs (or pussy worshiping), love the chores being completed, love the "yes, Sir/Mistress" respect, but do not take the reigns of leading your sub, do not take the reigns of disciplining your sub, do not take the reigns of pushing your sub's limits to help her/him reach the potential that you see in her/him are you really interested in being the Dominant or are you just playing along to get yourself off?

8 comments:

  1. It's a VERY interesting topic to me Pearl because it was the very question i had to ask and answer for myself when I first decided to ask Mistress K. to be my Mistress Wife. Very good post indeed!

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    1. I think this question should be asked with ANY power exchange relationship. Yes, the sexual side is amazing but is it in your heart to serve and be led when your clothes are on, the kids are home, and you really were expecting to just relax? Is your partner willing and interested in leading and guiding the path of your relationship? To be honest, I think we revisit these questions often. For us it is a reminder that we do this with AND for each other. When one of us strays odd the path, we check in.

      My post was honest, but it was a bit tantrum laced. Instead of serving gracefully I did so spitefully. I was not feeling led so I questioned His intent. "Pearl of little wisdom" will be my follow up post (pun very much intended). The little fucker in me is always ready to pounce on my insecurities.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this post- I think it really helped clear my head.

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  2. Good question....and of course, for some the answer is yes, and for some no. One thing i have learned....that I will admit I was surprised at, I feel yes the D gets served and serviced, but many times He has the more difficult 'job'.
    hugs abby

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  3. I think this is where my point is, the more difficult job IS the job of the Dom as S/He shapes, guides, disciplines, pushes, and elevates expectations all while being ultimately responsible for the emotional and physical wellbeing of the sub.

    However...is the Dom truly needing/wanting to be Dominant when there is a lack of initiative to go beyond laying back and being serviced?

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  4. Excellent question Pearl, great food for thought.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you Roz! I really wanted some feedback on this one.
      XOXO Pearl

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  5. Oh what a great insightful post! And very true. It takes alot of work on both sides to make the D/s dynamic work.

    And I have to completely agree with the lesbian analogy:)

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    1. It really clicked for me, both times. Both parties have to want to be actively involved, otherwise, there is just hurt. And thank you!

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