Friday, April 10, 2015

The intimacy of calling Him Sir.

I wanted to welcome Ara who is a newer follower of my blog here.   

When I went onto her blog page the first post started with a quote discussing something I have wanted to write about on my blog for a long time but just wasn't sure how to address it or incorporate it. 

"It is bound to happen at least once a month. Someone is talking to me and they call me "Sir" out of protocol-driven deference.  It's meant to sound respectful, but it also sounds a bit too intimate for me."
Author: Baronvonaaron on fetlife
The blog post is from a Dom and goes on to talk about other situations of subs (not this Dom's subs) kneeling for him or expecting to serve him.  Outside of an absolute explicit direction from my Man I would never in a MILLION years kneel for anyone other than HIM.  Since our dynamic change I have even worked to break my friendly habit of saying "Yes, Sir" to others.  It just feels very wrong to me now.

Now my Man and I have had no in person time with other D/s people but I feel that this does come up in blogging often in it's own way.  Many blogger names reflect their titles or D/s stance in the home/relationships.  I get this, it is who they are and how they identify themselves, however, I just cannot call them "Master___" or "Sir___".    I completely agree, it's a bit too intimate for me.  Even my buddy subhub- his LOVELY Mistress K is HIS Mistress K.  I cannot refer to her as "Mistress K".   To me, Dom/Master/Mistress/Sir/Daddy (and so on) are titles reserved to be spoken by those who serve them, not me.  

I in no way feel odd when others use the titles for each other in blogland.  For some, this lifestyle is a full lifestyle, complete with their Dom/Domme's expectation that they serve to the fullest extent at all times.   My Man does not have that expectation of me and he is very aware of my intent to follow His lead.

That being said, if my Man were to request my submission towards others- it would happen.  Yes, there are a few people I can think of that it would literally burn as it rolled off my tongue, but all in all, I crave His input and His direction.  Come to think of it, I have been open about my need for punishments/consequences.  There is one person that I am certain he would only have me say "Yes, Sir" to as a form of punishment =)  and I would HATE every minute of that cruel and unusual punishment!   

15 comments:

  1. Hi Pearl, very well said. I feel the same way. In blogland I usually refer to "your" Master/Sir ...

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I feel more comfortable that way too.
      XOXO Pearl

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  2. First, thanks for calling me your buddy. I consider you "buddy" as well and you are one of my very favorite bloggers.

    I totally understand what you mean about not referring to anyone other than your man. It makes perfect. In looking back on how I refer to others that are dominant, I always (try to anyway) refer to them by what appears to be their name. If it should happen to have the word Master or Mistress in it, then I am using that word in it's proper noun context, and not as a reference to whether or not they have a dominant standard over me. In thinking about it, Mistress Marie comes to mind. I am an avid follower and as such, will refer to her by her "name", I guess out of fear that just referring to her as Marie would be discourteous.

    Great post sister!

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    1. You ARE a very good "buddy" =) I am always glad to have you here!! And, thanks!!

      I totally get your position. I actually was going to personal email you about this once- your Mistress K is actually one Domme/Dom I very much didn't want to offend (that goes for you too) with my not referring to her by her name as such. I know you understand the respect I have for you both and after our friendship has went on, I am not too worried that your Mistress K (or you) ever question that!

      Thanks ship! Your comments, thoughts, and input are always very much appreciated!!

      XOXO Pearl

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  3. Thank You Pearl for mentioning the blog and to give the name of the author. I feel honored.

    and great post too.

    ara

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    1. Your words are always "mention" worthy ara!

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    2. ara, you are so welcome!! I am really enjoying peaking in on your blog =)

      XOXO Pearl

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  4. This is a great post. And I just realized, the example you used with sub hub and Mistress K...I have always referred to her automatically as Mistress K. I think it's just as sub hub said though. If it appears to be part of the name, it's just that...a name, not meant to imply they are dominant over me. That being said though...Heron has requested my submission for others. I actually say yes Sir or Ma'am quite a bit. Not all the time but I try to. I think it's probably more common in the south anyways so it doesn't seem odd to others.

    xx have a great weekend:)

    xx

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    1. I should add though that I do not run around addressing people on Fet as Sir or Ma'am though. What i am referring to is like you state...the friendly habit.

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    2. You're just a cool chick aren't you?

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    3. I kinda think of myself as a goofy nerd but I'll take cool chick:)

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    4. I love this little blogging circle! What a bunch of ladies!!! =)

      lg- goofy nerd is SO a title I understand!! But I agree with ship...you are one cool chick too. Thank you for your take on this whole "Sir/Ma'am" business. After reading the comments I do see it with a broader view. I love hearing all sides and thoughts! Always love hearing YOUR side!! Thanks =)

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  5. I've found trouble having to say 'Sir" or 'Mistress" in front of people, but my submissive demeanor or averting of eyes always happens. However if my Sir were to tell me to properly refer to that other person, i would automatically and with no question

    -ash

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    1. Thanks for adding your thoughts here too!! I think that my overall demeanor is probably not submissive. I am very big into eye contact. Even when I talk to cashiers/waiters/so on...I wouldn't say that I linger- like a creep =) but I do very much give eye contact. The Sir and Ma'am come out natural, not sure I could ever feel comfortable with Master or Mistress to anyone other than my Man.

      LOVE love to hear all sides! Thanks again ash!!!!

      XOXO Pearl

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