So, here in the states, we have a term "crying uncle" (curious if my far off friends use this too). I learned that term at a young age as the only way to get my brother to stop hitting me or a similar situation where I was just bound to lose and needed a way to get out and just give up in self preservation. You have to say "uncle" and in doing so you admit you are weak, you stand no chance and you have just had enough. (As I start this post, I can see how you as the reader could see this going so many different positive ways, however, I assure you, it really does not~ sorry.)
Today, I wanted to write.
I wanted to write and cry uncle.
I have needed maintenance.
I have asked for maintenance.
A few swats here and there but no maintenance.
I am way off and I am struggling to find my footing.
After a few good belt swats today while were having sex, it was all over. Starting a spanking and not following through is too much for me, and not a good too much. It opens me up then leaves me bare to fight off the little fucker all by myself.
He asked me what I needed.
Pearl, what do you need?
nothing, I'm fine.
He stairs at me, half expectant of me to give an answer and half expectant that He knows me better and that I will continue saying, nothing.
i think i just really need more. but it's fine. i understand.
truly, i understand nothing. i can't keep asking. i have just had enough. fine, uncle.
A short time later we get into the car to start running our errands.
Some maintenance tonight?
I reply with relieved but cautious expectations.
And, just like that, crisis post averted.?
We come home to an alarm sounding in our basement. Our water alarm that we placed less than a month ago when our basement flooded to alert us if water collects again. Two basement floods for two different household issues, in the span of a month. What the fuck.
I have never heard my Man yell "FUCK!" louder in all my life. Over and over.
WHAT THE FUCK!
Truth be told, I am typing this in between moving the super industrial water vacuum over our wadding pool basement.
No waterly advice needed. We are seriously becoming quite good at the clean-up process.
I have just had enough and I needed somewhere safe.
I cry uncle.