I guess the question I would like answered by an HOH the most is... Do you understand why we need/want this dynamic and do you want/need it too now that you've lived it or is it just something you do to keep Pearl happy? One more... if someone close to you discovered your lifestyle how would you feel?
**submitted by Lillyanna for Pearl's Man to answer**
Keeping Pearl happy is always a priority...happy wife, happy life...however your question is a little challenging, because everything is a work in progress......Do i understand my wife's deep need to serve? Yes, very much so, however my wife is a little spicy at times, and refuses to finish maintenance "chores," because she feels that it doesn't matter to me or is just being spiteful. When she is in order and serving the ways we have discussed our life works like a finely tuned car.....however when she throws her tantrums our life is just not right....and there is a definite disconnect in our relationship.
Do I want/need this lifestyle? this is also more difficult than it appears....Want.... absolutely...our life is FULL when she is doing what she is suppose to be doing...... problems occur when my wonderful wife attempts to read my mind and assume why I do the things I do or what I really want and this is where I believe she has her bouts of refusal of agreed maintenance, which in turn makes me punish her in very subtle ways......do I NEED this lifestyle....that isn't easy either...I loved our life before we made our decision to change our lifestyle....I think our life goes great when my wonderful wife is serving, because this is when she is best....I am not perfect by any means either, but refusal of maintenance chores i will never understand, this is something we are currently working on....communication is key and at times those communication lines are lacking.
Would i care if someone I knew found out about our lifestyle...no I wouldn't care one bit, my close friends from college knew we were freaky then, I don't think it would even surprise them.