Thursday, October 30, 2014

Maintenance spankings.

What are your feelings on the need for and the use of maintenance spankings? There has been much debate over the usefulness of them and to some Doms/Dommes, it can feel like a chore after a while.
*submitted by subhub for Pearl's Man to answer*

Sub Hub.....I know what makes sense for us...and I know that she does better when we do them to when we don't, so I do not feel it is a chore, nor do I feel that is is a hassle....I enjoy giving them so we are lucky....it may be a true naked bent over spanking with our flogger, or it could be a nice smack on her leg when we are driving around....but they happen more often then not.....I feel the bent over tied up spankings need to be earned so those are on a case by case basis....

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Bucket list check off?

I think I can say yes!

My Man agreed that I should find a quiet spanking implement for when he wants to spank me but we are not home alone.  Yes, I could have been patient and ordered something online but I took a suggestion from Aurora and found my own cane at home!  Phillip & Aurora have used a the stick that turns blinds open/closed (a blind tilt).  My Man actually suggested the blind tilt too =) I say great minds think alike!

He gave it a test run a few nights ago.
Mmmmmmm. I liked it.

Today, he gave it me a work over.
And.
I.
LOVED.
IT.

Stand up and bend over the couch.
I comply.

I think I found something.  
He tries out what I learned later was a drumstick on my behind.  Way too hard, thuddy and deep.  We talked back a forth on how his technique changes felt.  Not too bad, but not my favorite.

Maybe we won't use this one.
Then he changed to the blind tilt.

Sharp.
Specific.
Focused.
Breathtaking.

Alternating hard strikes with quick taps to many hard strikes in a row.  I placed my hands on my sit spot at one point.

He secured my hands together in front of me.  Down I go.  Floating in a slow breathy fog.

At one point, I stood up from the couch back as my ass was feeling the strikes of fire.

Lay back down or it's going to get worse.  He says as he continues on the same spot until I lower back down.

He directs me to stand up and move away from the kitchen doorway.  Our kitchen window is eye level and you can't really see in but my man sees someone outside and does not want me to be seen.  Makes sense.  And, I am thankful for the break on by bottom.  He moves to my breasts while we wait.

He directs me back to the couch and restarts.  Shortly after he says, Uh-oh. 
I shoot up and move over thinking that someone is back outside.

No, I think I made you bleed.  He softly rubs my ass.

You scared me!  I resume my position bent over the couch back.

It doesn't bother you that I made you bleed.

I think for a moment.  Not because I am unsure of my answer, but because each time a new piece of our lifestyle is uncovered it can be frightening.

Not particularly, no.

He slowly rubs my ass then canes my ass, sit spots, and thighs.  Over and over.  There is an inexplicable mix of searing pain and no pain at all.  Absolutely the most exhilarating sensations ever.  My Man is so good with this new spanking implement.  I. LOVE. IT.

After, he directs me to the shower to wash him.

You've asked me before if I like doing this to you?  
He grabs my hand and directs me to his cock.  He is bigger than ever, hard and engorged.  Only from this spanking, no touching or sexy talking, none.

I want him in my mouth.  No, not until you wash me.  We wash each other.  Then I get my treat.

A few things to note:

**The welts and stripes on my bottom are just delicious.  As I say that, it sounds absurd.  There is just no way around it, I love how sensitive each stripe is.  I love how my underwear crosses past one large welt and gives me a constant reminder of where HE has been.  I love each raised spot that aches when I rub over it.  Oh my, I am in love with how my Man used that damn blind tilt!

**When I washed my lady parts, my hand slid through the slickest spot ever.  I was not just wet, I was absolutely lubricated and ready.  I giggled because I KNEW I loved it!

Thank you all for your questions for my Man, by the way!  He is slowly answering them and I will be posting them!!!!




Thursday, October 23, 2014

Happy wife, happy life.

I guess the question I would like answered by an HOH the most is... Do you understand why we need/want this dynamic and do you want/need it too now that you've lived it or is it just something you do to keep Pearl happy? One more... if someone close to you discovered your lifestyle how would you feel?
**submitted by Lillyanna for Pearl's Man to answer**


Lillyanna.....
Keeping Pearl happy is always a priority...happy wife, happy life...however your question is a little challenging, because everything is a work in progress......Do i understand my wife's deep need to serve?  Yes, very much so, however my wife is a little spicy at times, and refuses to finish maintenance "chores," because she feels that it doesn't matter to me or is just being spiteful.  When she is in order and serving the ways we have discussed our life works like a finely tuned car.....however when she throws her tantrums our life is just not right....and there is a definite disconnect in our relationship.

Do I want/need this lifestyle?  this is also more difficult than it appears....Want.... absolutely...our life is FULL when she is doing what she is suppose to be doing...... problems occur when my wonderful wife attempts to read my mind and assume why I do the things I do or what I really want and this is where I believe she has her bouts of refusal of agreed maintenance, which in turn makes me punish her in very subtle ways......do I NEED this lifestyle....that isn't easy either...I loved our life before we made our decision to change our lifestyle....I think our life goes great when my wonderful wife is serving, because this is when she is best....I am not perfect by any means either, but refusal of maintenance chores i will never understand, this is something we are currently working on....communication is key and at times those communication lines are lacking.

Would i care if someone I knew found out about our lifestyle...no I wouldn't care one bit, my close friends from college knew we were freaky then, I don't think it would even surprise them.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

He is now open for questions!


In the spirit of working on better and more clear communication with my Man I am offering him up to answer YOUR questions!
Well, not entirely true  =)  He has offered up himself.  

If you are reading this post, 
leave a good question for him!  

You (and I) will learn a lot I'm sure!!

XOXO Pearl


Sunday, October 19, 2014

He said, she said. Miss-Communication strikes again.

Have you and your partner ever had a discussion/conversation where you were each carrying on your OWN conversations and neither of you were catching on?

In an unimportant subject, this could be funny.  He thinks we agreed to go out for dinner, I think we agreed to stay in.  Plans are made, and we find out when he "meets" me at the restaurant and I am fervently cooking at home.  Ha ha Ha!  Oh, what a silly misunderstanding!  And, the night goes on...

This was NOT our situation!

Through vanilla life circumstances, we are in a very acknowledged situation of difficulty with my submission.  My work (again) requires my full attention and in many ways it has to come first (this is a discussion for a different post, I know).  WE also come first, if that makes any sense at all.  D/s is full time for us.  In the bedroom only was out long ago.

That being said, we began a discussion on how to get me back on track.

I stated to my Man,

I know that things will evolve and change but overall, don't you think that we are past the question on if this is what we want?

He asked me to say it again.  I did.

His response,

NO.  

Mind you, he stated this with a great deal of conviction.  I was taken aback.

Does he think that we still need to discuss IF we both want this?

For the rest of the day, we were

Off.

He was short with me and mostly silent.  I felt, confused and hurt.

Did I screw up that badly?

More communication errors at bedtime.  He was about to get into bed, I scrambled and said WAIT!  I had clothes on the bed and didn't want him to have to clean it off.  (It is also the expectation that I get his side of the bed ready and fluff up/straighten up the feather bed.)

I moved the clothes and that was it, he got into bed.

I climbed over him and playfully stated that I wish it was one of my days (I get two set days a month where I can question, request, and suggest).

I thought we were done with that?

What?!  When did you take those away?

And the long day of miscommunication FINALLY comes to an end!

You said you didn't want to do this anymore.

WHAT THE FUCK?!
__________________________________________________________

As we break down the day we realize the horrible situation we were both in.

I wanted clarification and reassurance that no matter how difficult this can get, we are way past worrying if this is for us or not.  In his answer, I heard that we are NOT past asking if this is for us.  Ouch.

My Man asked me to repeat what I said and in my clarified answer he still heard that I felt that we are beyond needing this.   We can always change, but we don't need this.  OUCH!

Somehow we both mistakenly heard that the other was NOT fully invested in our commitment.

To hear the hurt in his voice, it broke my heart and equally warmed my soul.

I just kept thinking 'How the fuck can I NOT do this?'  I don't think I could go back.

_________________________________________________________

When it comes down to it, our disconnect over the past month allowed fear to creep in.
Our disconnect hid the truth.

I could focus on the disconnect, or I could focus on the fact that we came back to U/us.

In the end, that is all that matters.  We ended the day as U/us.



Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Kinky bucket list continued....

Kinky bucket list continued....

#5.  Vow renewal. We have talked about this often, but I would love it if his intent to lead and my intent to submit was the focus.  My Man and I have been married a long time.  When we first started out, I wanted to break all the stereotypes.  I wanted to be listed first on our mortgage, the female realtor refused (that actually still irritates me that she refused!).  I think I even  asked what he thought about a hyphenated last name or at least I remember a conversation in which he told me NO chance in hell!  I am the youngest and I knew I needed to yell loud to be heard, so, I yelled loud!  I no longer feel that I need to yell to be heard.  I am heard.  I am seen and I am loved.  I would like a chance to vow all the things we have now made a commitment to.  This was already on my kink bucket list but Subhub has me really thinking about this one!!  Very excited for my blog friend and his Mistress K as they prepare for their FLM vows ceremony!!

#4.  Be a centerfold for my Man.  I have always wanted to secretly set up a sexy photo shoot and surprise my Man with a calendar or magazine.  Shit, even just some HOT pictures.  My Man and I were just talking about him taking photos of me (he is actually a stunning photographer).  Although I would love to make it a surprise for him (surprise! and hello babe if you are reading this) I also think it would be amazingly sexy for him to be my photographer!!  And, I would feel much safer!

#3.  Now this one is hard for me to say, because it is also terrifying.  I want to be on display for my Man and have him bring me to a destination of (consensual) on-lookers as I serve him.  I am proud of who I am for and with him, I want others who know what a gift we are to each other to see who he has helped me to become.  The most amazing would be an extended D/s vacation spot or workshop??  I don't mean a nightclub, I would love a few days with like minded individuals who will see me kneel or say yes sir and will feel LOVE not discomfort.  The closest we have come to this is when he took me out "shopping" with a remote vibrator in.  He would turn it on and off during our drive or when we were alone in a shopping isle.  He also happened to turn it on as we walked out of a store, needless to say, I came.  Silently but slightly panting I am sure.  Up walks a friend of my husbands and I cannot even speak to what occurred.  I think he introduced us, not sure.  All I do remember is I kept thinking "I'm sweating and slightly out of breath, he thinks I'm sick.  He thinks I'm just sick".  
When we got to the car I asked my Man if his friend was a good guy.  
Ya, he's alright.   
Well, he just saw your wife cumming, I hope he deserves it.  
It had nothing to do with him.  That wasn't for him.
That was an amazing answer that I did not expect.  My Man turned the remote on as we walked through isles together, not based on others being near (at all).  This was for us. 

#2.  Training.  I would like for my Man to have an end goal and to take me through the necessary step to get to his goal.  Kink speaking, of course, it could be service positions perfected, deep throating with no gagging, taking # strikes without moving....the list of possibilities is endless.  Just the thought of my Man training me to serve or to give of myself better is tremendously HOT!

#1.  Tattoo'd for my Man
This is something we have actually both wanted to do for a long time, long before I became his submissive.  We talked about getting our ring fingers tattoo'd.  At this point, I want this tattoo to reflect our commitment fully.

SHARE YOUR KINK BUCKET LISTS TOO!!!!!  
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW CREATIVE YOU ALL ARE!!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Bucket list. Of the KINK variety.

I started this post many months ago....funny to read now and see where we are in checking these off.  My new thoughts are in RED =)


I am learning so much about myself and my kinks (still VERY true). We have always had a fun measure of kink together but we just continue to elevate our experiences and play time.  There is still so much more I would love to do!  I often wonder if my Husband knew what he was in for when we met as teenagers.  (Oh, I bet he did, and that is why he put up with my shit for so long!)

Top 10 kinks I would love to try......

10.  Punishment.  Being held throat deep on his cock, gagging or not, for being rude or questioning him.  Having him tie me down for a punishment spanking, making me count, telling me why I have earned each swat.  Being held to task for my actions.  Then the comfort after, connected and loving.  Still on my bucket list.  The activities I can cross off, but not related to the intent of punishment/consequence.

Side note: My Man was flicking my nipple over and over VERY hard one night and I kept my arms up and whined and squirmed, it felt like a punishment, it was VERY intense and focused.  I even asked if this was for punishment or pleasure.  He said punishment.  I asked, 'why?'.  He said 'I don't need a reason'.  No, he doesn't and I love that.  When we talked later, however, it was really just what he wanted to do and not punishment per say.   Situations like this happen frequently.  Intense spanking concentrated on one main spot, all in the name of fun!  OUCH!  Punishment appeals to me a great deal.  To care enough to expect more, and follow through when it doesn't occur, is a very loving act for a submissive to experience I think.

9.  Threesome.  We have decided to call her a 'unicorn'.  Every circumstance would have to be perfect for this to ever happen and the chances are little that we would ever find the right person.  But, we still believe in unicorns!  We had an opportunity a very long time ago and I backed out.  I figured I would rather regret NOT doing it than us regret having done it and have it ruin us.  In a world with no repercussions, this is still a kink I would love for us to try.  Can I "ditto" myself!? 

8.  Sex slave.  On a small scale we have dabbled in this.  We continue to dabble in this...  The kink I have in mind entails me being tied up for an entire day of full objectification.  I want to be pushed to the edge, to be fucked, slapped, and whipped.  I want to earn water and be denied food.  I want to pee when I'm allowed.  I want to serve my Master perfectly and be trained for that perfection.  I want to be pushed to the edge physically and emotionally.  I want his strength to be the only thing that keeps me going.  As I vaguely alluded to in this post, we did have an extended session of slavery recently.  It was truly amazing.  My wrists were restrained in my leather cuffs stretched out like a "T" to each end of our homemade spreader bar secured to a large wooden vertical beam in our basement.  I was also secured to the vertical beam with my beautiful pink rope, tits pressed hard into the wood.  I was used, paddled/whipped, came into, then left.  The sounds of my Man moving about upstairs LITERALLY could have made me cum if I had permission.  Turning on the TV, sitting on the couch, stopping in the kitchen, going into the bathroom...as I was dripping, shaking, and dazed, drunk on sexual slavery.  My nipples were clamped with an attached chain around the pole.  Do I even care why serving my Man no matter how bad it hurts makes me feel like a best little subbie wife in the world?!  When he came back down to work me over more my body was BEGGING for anything he would offer.  He spanked hard and fucked me rough.  The pain as my nipples pulled against the clamps secured around the pole was beyond intense.  Predicament bondage, one of my favorites!  I sobbed and moaned uncontrollably.  DO YOU WANT MORE?  I know this was my Man's way of offering me reprieve and checking in on my limits, and I love him for that.  That is the reason I have never had to use my safeword.  He is present and aware, and I begged for more.  The fact that he only fucked my ass that day made me feel even more objectified, and it was true perfection!  When he released me, I collapsed in a little ball at his feet.  I felt like his beloved little pet.  So needy, so spent.  There's further we could go with this, and I cannot wait for more!

7.  Caned.  We don't own a cane but my Man was searching for a whip at one point, WTF!?  I think I may get him a cane for Christmas (appropriate right?!)  Any suggestions on an effective =) cane?

6. Food control.  My Man recently announced that I would be losing some weight as he would be initiating control over my eating habits and making my plates for me.  Please understand, we are truly fully comfortable with each other and he is the absolute definition of unconditional love.  He loves every inch of me, even the extra ones.  He knows I am looking to become more healthful and he also knows how much I crave his control and direction.  I was teary eyed as I said, Yes, thank you.  He is in the phase of figuring out how to take this control in the context of our vanilla life.  Any tips my Dom readers??  

5. This is where my original post left off.  I have more to add, but I will leave the last 5 for a different post!

Thanks for reading =)