In honor of all the un-sexy, un-subby, un-perfect moments I have EVERY SINGLE day I want to chronicle this day for you a bit.
Let me actually start with last night...
I went to bed, un-showered (broken rule #1), no towel with me (broken rule #2), and dishes still in the sink (broken rule #3). I did, however, manage to follow ONE rule and prepare my beloved's bed. I was exhausted and there was not a single unselfish bone in my body, I needed sleep. I actually have NO memory on if we had any type of sex of any kind. I truly cannot recall. Un-sexy, un-subby and all true.
This morning, a day off of work! Kiddos at school, Husband home....sounds like the makings of a fuck-fest right?! That would be a good guess if we perfectly ran D/s 100% of the time. In full disclosure, I did sneak in a blow job before my behavior did a crash and burn! My cycle rounding the corner does it's best to turn me into a self righteous, bitch. I manage to irritate my Man to the point that he does not even hold my hand in the car (something he does without fail, every car ride).
I take my anti-bitch pill. I take it shamefully, and I blame him for judging when he has done nothing of the sort. Anti-bitch pill #1 doesn't do the trick, so I take #2. I slowly come around and it is like a sobered up drunk, I am embarrassed and regretful. He asks, Are you done? I am not sure that he sounded Dominant. He sounded, exhausted really. I answer, yes, and curl up next to him as he drives.
Now 24 hours later from the start of this blog chronicle, I am still un-showered (gross, I know, but I still have time). The dishes ARE done. I intend to bring my towel to bed. And, I will also prepare his side of the bed.
I am still his sub. He is still my Owner. I am still his wife. He is still my Husband.
Even on our best days....We are imperfect.
What is behind our curtain is the stuff that makes us, U/us. The things that we can share with each other and still know, that WE are in this for the long haul. I don't plan on sharing all that is behind our curtain, because after all, it is O/our curtain! But, I am committed to blogging FOR us, and that includes the ups and the downs.
As we read each others blogs, we need to be KIND to ourselves and to our partners. Each of us chooses to share small parts of the whole that makes us each our own, U/us. The grass is not greener, we just happen to have some damn terrific writers in blogland who are gracious enough to share the small things from their lives with us.