Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Daydreaming at work.

Taking a minute to stretch my back at work, I feel, sore.

Oh, yes, now I remember.

On my belly.
Wrist restraints.
Connected to ankle restraints.
Connected to a neck collar.
Back arched to accommodate where they are all connected.

Oh, yes, I remember.

Spread.  He demands.
His hand invading my cunt.  A smooth toy invading my ass.

I incoherently count out my orgasms.

Flogging, spanking, fucking.

My back, pussy, ass, and thighs are deliciously on fire.

He curls my hands into a fist to avoid hitting my fingers as he spanks.  Too many spanks in the same spot.  My hands open wide to cover my ass.

And. He. Spanks. My. Open. Hand.
HOLY shit.  I close them back up tight.

The next time I reach my limit, I open my hands.  And, this time, I keep them open.
He continues his spanking.  On my palms.
When my ass is ready for more, I close them back into tight fists.

So much giving.  So much taking.

Having this to remember throughout my day makes everything infinitely better! 

Sunday, September 28, 2014

When the words will just not flow...

I find a photo that moves me. 

The purpose of this article is to illustrate how a Dom or Master would translate long-term training goals (mental and sexual conditioning) into daily/weekly activities of a submissive. A submissive...


I absolutely love this.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Behind the curtain.

In honor of all the un-sexy, un-subby, un-perfect moments I have EVERY SINGLE day I want to chronicle this day for you a bit.

Let me actually start with last night...
I went to bed, un-showered (broken rule #1), no towel with me (broken rule #2), and dishes still in the sink (broken rule #3).  I did, however, manage to follow ONE rule and prepare my beloved's bed.  I was exhausted and there was not a single unselfish bone in my body, I needed sleep.  I actually have NO memory on if we had any type of sex of any kind.  I truly cannot recall.  Un-sexy, un-subby and all true.

This morning, a day off of work!  Kiddos at school, Husband home....sounds like the makings of a fuck-fest right?!  That would be a good guess if we perfectly ran D/s 100% of the time.  In full disclosure, I did sneak in a blow job before my behavior did a crash and burn!  My cycle rounding the corner does it's best to turn me into a self righteous, bitch.  I manage to irritate my Man to the point that he does not even hold my hand in the car (something he does without fail, every car ride).

I take my anti-bitch pill.  I take it shamefully, and I blame him for judging when he has done nothing of the sort.  Anti-bitch pill #1 doesn't do the trick, so I take #2.  I slowly come around and it is like a sobered up drunk, I am embarrassed and regretful.  He asks, Are you done?  I am not sure that he sounded Dominant.  He sounded, exhausted really.  I answer, yes, and curl up next to him as he drives.

Now 24 hours later from the start of this blog chronicle, I am still un-showered (gross, I know, but I still have time).  The dishes ARE done.  I intend to bring my towel to bed.  And, I will also prepare his side of the bed.

I am still his sub.  He is still my Owner.  I am still his wife.  He is still my Husband.

Even on our best days....We are imperfect. 

What is behind our curtain is the stuff that makes us, U/us.  The things that we can share with each other and still know, that WE are in this for the long haul.  I don't plan on sharing all that is behind our curtain, because after all, it is O/our curtain!  But, I am committed to blogging FOR us, and that includes the ups and the downs.

As we read each others blogs, we need to be KIND to ourselves and to our partners.  Each of us chooses to share small parts of the whole that makes us each our own, U/us.  The grass is not greener, we just happen to have some damn terrific writers in blogland who are gracious enough to share the small things from their lives with us.

Friday, September 19, 2014

All work and no play makes Pearl a dull girl.

Good thing for me, my Man has NO intent on letting me go dull for long!

I thought I saw him cast his eyes to the floor momentarily after catching my eye.  
I turned my head questioningly to the side as if to ask "You want me on the floor?"

We stared at each other, silently.


I am waiting for my wife to service me.


Down to my knees I go....

Rule #1.  Shirt off when I serve.
Shirt comes off.

I want my wife naked.

Do you want me to shower?

I want you naked.

All of my clothes come off.  And, I do what it is that I do best.  

I SERVE.  With all my heart.  I. SERVE!

I get one strong smack on my butt cheek.  

A Thank You if you will.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Searching for the scarlet letter...

Everywhere we go, I people watch.  Just a little bit.

People watching inevitably leads me to wondering, "Are any of these couples D/s couples?"  For lack of wanting to list all the lifestyle possibilities, you all know what I mean.  One leading, one following.  Ownership/service....all in the name of deeper love.

It's not that I have nothing to talk about in the vanilla world, but I have so much more to relate to in the D/s world.

How freeing would it be to talk and be open with who we are, fully?

How freeing would it be for others to see him look at me, and for them to know that I have better and that I am expected to DO better?

How freeing would it be to respond "Yes, Sir" to him and to have others know that HE owns me and all that I am?

Our D/s dynamic is forefront in my mind most all of the time.  I often wish that the others of us out there who felt the same and understand where we are, had some sort of a little tell sign.

Do me a favor bloggers, start wearing your scarlet letters so I know who you are!  =)

Saturday, September 6, 2014

I am not in THE mood, I am in A mood.

When my head swirls I feel the need to dump.  A list, if you will, of all the clutter messing around in there.

-I am sad. Sad actually doesn't cover it.  True heartbreaking emptiness is filling every corner of my heart as I watch a loved one unexpectedly slip into a coma, and soon expected death, over a stupid, random, no big deal event.  Goddamn tragic.

-I have made the recent choice to work more.  For my family, for my co-workers, for those I work "for".  All in attempts to earn better, do better, and be better.  And for the most part, it has backfired.  Having to fight for the compensation is ridiculous.  Being gone from home enough for my children to literally assume that I will NOT be home for anything.  They are not even being spiteful.  They honestly go to my Man first for EVERYTHING right now.  Every call goes to him, every bit of news on their day slides right past me.  At one point I had not even see my children in 3 days.  You would never know that being a mom comes first to me right now.

-I actually have a full FUCKING tree on my house!  It is covering a power-line so the electric co. has to come remove that piece at least.  Until that happens, however, the tree stays put.  No one will come look at it (roof or tree removal) until the tree is free from the power line.  One huge problem, power co. will not come for several days as we still have power and there is no sparking of wires!  What the fuck is that!?

-I have had NO time to write.  No time to journal.  No time.  I don't do well with this.  How do you take "me" time when you haven't giving your kids their time?!

-Many people have joked with me that if you didn't actually see the shit that happens to me on a daily basis, you just would never believe it to be true.  You KNOW you have a lot going on when that is what others tell you.

I have more to say but I think I will spare you all and just journal it.

Sorry for the dumping.  I am feeling like the life preserver is just out of reach right now and I am just getting tired.

Tomorrow....will be better.