Friday, August 8, 2014

Tending the D/s Garden.

Our two week sabbatical is over.  We are home.  Family time, U/us time, my alone time.  There was some well earned rest & fun.

We talked.  We cuddled.  We quietly allowed our D/s sides to connect when our lodging accommodations allowed it.  Even some lovely D/s time when vanilla was expected and we were out in the open.

That connection time- every piece of it- is invaluable to us.  THAT is when we have time to be free and to communicate clearly.

My Man had the opportunity to tell me more of what he needs from me as his sub/wife.  I don't usually hear this part from him as often as I would like.  It sounds crazy maybe, being that we choose to live a D/s lifestyle, but he is not usually giving me direction or rules.  I have thought about this in terms of my tomato plants, follow me on this, it really should makes sense.  My tomato plants can grow just fine with only the soil and water we have, they really can.  But, to REALLY make them flourish, I have to prune them.  I have to break off the stems that aren't fruitful, turn the soil, remove the weeds, and guide each limb to be supported by the surrounding cage.  When I don't do this, the tomatoes grow just fine.  But, when I put in the effort to DO this, they grow SO MUCH better!

Can I be a good submissive for my Husband just because it is in me to do so.  Sure.
Can I be a GREAT submissive without HIS input, pruning, and effort.  No.

The biggest enemy of being being good.

I am not happy being good.


  1. "
    Can I be a good submissive for my Husband just because it is in me to do so.  Sure. 
    Can I be a GREAT submissive without HIS input, pruning, and effort.  No.

    The biggest enemy of being being good.

    I am not happy being good."

    Very well said. Great metaphor and so true. I crave to be a great submissive yet cannot without His guidance.

    1. Not sure why my first reply erased.....

      Anyway, thank you HS. When we came back from our trip and back to my growing garden that was the first thing I thought of. Our D/s dynamic seems to be the first thing I think of often =)

  2. Its a hard to get into cycle for us it seems. DH needs me to be submissive (especially in bed) to be dominant, but I need more than him telling me to suck his cock. As much as I like to do it when I am in the right state of mind, I don't like that as a 'start'. He feels if we don't have the time or opportunity to do it, then why bother with the little things.
    I think the little things can make the biggest difference, if one only bothers to try!

    1. Julia, you so get it!

      The right state of mind is needed for me as well and it is the little things that always make the difference, in BOTH directions. When I am feeling off, all the little things that are left undone or unsaid seem to send us away from where we want to be. On the other end, when we are doing and saying the little things we are much better off.

      Thanks Julia!