Friday, July 18, 2014

Saved by MY loving Dom.

Thank you for hanging in with me when this blog serves as my therapy.  My intent is to express all of me....for better....or for worse.  

We were in bed the night after my panic attack.  Time to talk, check in, reconnect.  Emotions were raw and more vulnerable than usual.  I was distantly worried it would happen again.  I wanted him to take me away.  My man stated that my reaction freaked him out.  He needed time.  He needed to give me time.

I wanted to show him that it was NOT his heavy Dominance that pushed me over.
I wanted him to push me harder.
I wanted him to take my ass the way he did that night.  Before I crumbled.

In that first few long minutes of talking I had completely forgotten what got us to the loving place we are.  I had forgotten that what makes us, U/us, is that we are committed to GIVING love, not taking love.  WE are in this together.  This is NOT about what I want.  My focus changed.  Not trusting that My Man should carry the burden of my anxiety with me is a large part of what caused me to get to a breaking point.  I trusted his choice, cuddled up close to him, and fell asleep.  Wrapped in safety, acceptance, Dominance, and LOVE.


My Man decides that one day off is plenty.  Our toy box is out and I am restrained (very creatively I may add) by my hands and my feet.  I am naked, front and center in the living room, on my hands and knees.  He slides the soft ottoman under me.  Hands secured to one end of the L-shaped couch side, feet secured to the opposite end of the L-shape.

His restraints make me float.  Instantly.  I feel my eyes blinking ever so slowly.  My lips soften and I breath in soft, slow, healing breaths.

I am so lost in every sound of rope moving, metal clip chiming, hand smacking.  He is not easy on me and I am drunken with surrender.  His hand smacks hard down onto my ass.  The wooden paddle, even harder.  Even the pretty pink flogger feels heavy tonight.  I hear yelling and moaning.  I vaguely recognize the sounds as my own.  Intense.  Demanding.  I do have more to give.  And tonight...he takes it.  I can feel his need and want.  It spirals me even farther to know that THIS feeds HIS love right along with me.

Tonight there is little warm up.  He goes straight into my ass with an insertable attachment on the magic wand.
I count out my orgasms as they come (as expected).

Again, little warm up, he moves into my aching and soaked cunt with his other hand.  Little else gives me the sensation of COMPLETE contented surrender as when he takes me past the point of coherent thought and stretches me full.  My body LITERALLY aches for him and because of him.  It is the most delectable combination.

At some unremembered number, I loose count of my orgasms.  I stop counting out.


I.........I     don't           know...........    
I am desperately attempting to stay alert and understand his words but all I feel is SENSATION.  My cum flowing down my legs onto my required play towel.  His hand demanding me to open for him.  The pull of my wrists away from the pull of my ankles.  My long un-pulled back hair strewn all over my face and back.

I cry the most healing, welcomed, cleansing tears of submission as I am stripped bare of all that holds me back from being, ME.
He is a gift.
He is MY gift.
He alone turns the key that unlocks all that is good in me.


  1. This so makes me smile...i am so happy for you....a loving Master, but also a demanding who knows what you need one....a wonderful blessing.
    hugs abby

    1. Thanks abby! There are difficult moments and terrific moments...this one was terrific!!
      XOXO Pearl