What is "TTWD"? He asks
I almost start to giggle. I forget HE does not read all this.....I read ALL this.
It stands for "This Thing We Do". It's basically an overall term for each couple's version of this relationship dynamic, what they choose.
I think I may have stammered out my answer. Each time I crawl out from my cave a little more, I am full of nerves. Will this be too much? Will that cross the line? Am I as abnormal as I sometimes feel? The thought of his rejection is real, only in my mind. My Man has gone to hell and back WITH me, more times than I wish were needed. Does he make decisions for us that HE is comfortable with, YES. Reject me, NEVER.
Is this how it feels for you?
Nothing more was said. I followed his lead. My heart knows that HE needs to choose what is right for us and what is right for "This Thing WE Do".
I am wearing my very subbie nightshirt. We all have them, the ones that don't hide all the good bits! I wear it for no good reason and for every good reason. I make effort to NOT hide my good bits from him no matter what. Tonight is a 'no matter what' night. I am uneasy. Is he finally thinking that I AM as abnormal as I feel sometimes?!?
We are laying in bed.
Me on my tummy.
He notices that I have not hidden any of my good bits.
Slides his hand over my shirt.
Down my back.
Over my bare backside.
He stops there.
This IS a good shirt for bed.
I smile in the darkness.
I am stunned but I don't move a bit as he takes a short time to alternate cheeks.
**SMACK** **SMACK!** **SMACK**
He rubs his chosen spot, my right butt cheek, and settles in with many, MANY more. I am in silent, sobbing disbelief. I am NOT as abnormal as I sometimes think that I am.
No tears come but-
I. AM. SOBBING.
Then, calm. Floating calm that I have not felt in a very long time.
Feels like forgiveness.
I do just as he says. He directs me as I alternate from taking him in my mouth to climbing on top of him. Deeper. I want you to cum on me.
There is no choice to be made, My Man wants to be deeper in me, I will make that happen. He enjoys me for a long while (who am I kidding, HE let me enjoy him for a long while!!).
I thanked him so much for using his hand. The connection was truly emotional. I LOVE THIS MAN.
Early wake up for work. As we both stir and shift his hand meets my naked backside, again.
**SMACK** **SMACK** **SMACK!**
I don't recall how many, but it was the most terrific way to wake up! It was a solid reaffirmation that my day starts and ends as HIS.
I AM THE LUCKIEST SUBBIE WIFE EVER!!!!!!!