Friday, June 27, 2014

Change this post name so she doesn't find it! =)

My very best friend confided in me a bit ago about her wanting to do a threesome (not with us my silly blogger friends!).

So, I made the leap.  And- I told her that I have a sex blog.

The sky didn't fall.  The world did not end.  My very best friend said "AWESOME, I WANT TO READ IT!"

Slow down Milly.....I don't write fiction.  She STILL wants to read.  What an amazing friend I have!!  I told her how much I love and appreciate her friendship.  Then I told her no.  =)


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Random thoughts..........

1.  I find the balance between submission and vanilla behavior difficult when we spend time away on a family trip.
2.  We only have vanilla family/friends- that I'm aware of  =) ....that can make it even more difficult.
3.  I love my Man.
4.  A LOT
5.  I have thought, on many occasions, that I have an anxiety disorder.
6.  It oddly calms my anxiety when I think that I'm right about having an anxiety disorder.
7.  My most recent vulnerable/submissive sexual play time with my Man was when I was kneeling on the couch facing the corner backrest.  My hands were holding onto the back of the couch and my ass was up in the air as my upper body was pressed down onto the couch (arms extended to hold onto the couch back). The words give no justice to how I felt.  Giving yourself up like that to someone can be terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.  My position prevented me from slowing his advances.  The emotional/mental aspect of submitting was just astonishing to me.  I was way more sensitive than normal.
8.  I crave the feeling listed in #7.  
9.  My submission builds his confidence as a Man, as my Man, as my Dom.  Just as his dominance builds my confidence as his submissive wife.
10.  I should be sleeping.

Monday, June 16, 2014

A spanking by any other name.......

Would have got me a darn spanking!!

We had the discussion.  A short, abbreviated, quick before the kids come back in- kind of discussion.
For all my complexity, my Man is quite black&white.

How can something you ENJOY so much be a punishment?!  It wouldn't work.

He has a valid point.  However, like I said, I am complex =)  Spankings give me release, a release I just plain need.  My complexity tells me that what we call the spankings is just semantics.   Funny thing.  Through my complexity, I find that I need simplicity.

-Role affirmation
Help me bloggers, it's early, yet I know there are a million other names for spankings.....But I loose focus....

The point is that I crave the release only HE can give me.
Spankings test my ability to let go.
They quiet the noise racing in my head.
They release my control.
They remind me of my place.
They focus me.
They test the strength of my submission.
They remind me to trust.
They connect us stronger.
They ease the irrational hormones.
They allow me time to breath.
They free my mind.
They make me feel absolutely beautiful.
They calm me.

I am blogging to a community who understands.  I am so thankful for that!
Any feedback???  I am curious what YOU get from a spanking. Or if you are the spanker, what does it do for you?

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Infamous last words.

As I leave a stressful workday behind me I tell some co-workers "I'm having a drink when I get home".

Well, my Man refused to let me curl up and be antisocial and we went out to a friend's house for some much needed 'start of summer' fun.  My ONE drink turned into I have no idea how many, something quite honestly I haven't done in 10-15 years.  There is a reason I don't do that.  I.  Feel. Like. SHIT!

So, enjoy your 'start of summer' my blog-friends.....just not too much!  You may end up puking on the wall like it was your 21st birthday all over again =)

XOXO Pearl

PS.  Dirty drunk texting your D/Husband is REALLY fun when you know he is reading them sober

Monday, June 2, 2014

Good girl

We have a few stolen minutes. A quick moment to discuss this turning point we have reached.  This Thing That WE do is evolving and changing and we need the check in.

The initial requests he had of me were almost chosen for a test run of sorts.
When it all started, we needed to know....
Does He want this?  Do I want this?  Can a relationship change this drastically after this long?  Can a great relationship get better?  Does it need to get better?

So many questions.

I had the courage to ask him to try.
He had the strength to say, yes.

I am reduced to tears as I tell him how very much I love him.
How very much my heart has grown to serve HIM.
And now.  We.  Need.  More.

We now know that this IS for us and we NEED more.   Now that we are both committed to being more than man and wife, my submission needs to match what is important to HIM.   Now that we are committed to being more than man and wife, His leadership needs to mach what is important to me.  My Man and HIS wife need new boundaries, new requests, and new commitment.


You were such a good girl today.

You can have two more for all your hard work.
Thank you....

Deeper, I want you all the way down when you cum.
Yes, Sir.

To be fair.  I cried Thank you to my Man more times than I can recall.  I trusted him enough to peek out of my cave (thank you mc kitten) and there he was, waiting to welcome me home.  I respect and love my Man more than I could ever accurately express in this blog.  Even when I struggle, He is strong.  I am loved.