Monday, April 28, 2014

What changed?

A LONG time ago, I remember a friend of ours stopping mid-conversation to follow her husband downstairs (where he wanted to be).  I also remember a new conversation starting with the remaining friends in our group and something to the effect of "So is she a submissive wife or what?" popped up.  My most clear memory of that is how much I disagreed with my 'submissive' friend.  And, quite frankly, the idea of being submissive to a man at all.


Now I remind myself that for this specific couple their dynamic it is in the religious context of men lead and women follow.  This is not our context.  I do not believe that I follow men.  I follow ONE Man.  Also important is that the husband is a bit of a dickhead.  Nothing like my Man.

The specifics of that couple aside, I remembered thinking that you had to be crazy to be submissive.


Who I was.
I was a strong, proud, stubborn young girl.
I worked hard for everything I needed and wanted.
I wanted to be successful, in everything I did.
I was more interested in building physical strength than physical beauty.
I loved my Man unapologetically.
I was happy.

How did I ever become submissive/surrendered to my Man?  We have over 20 very happy years together.
What changed?  Why now?  Were we destined to come to this all along?

Who I am now.
I am His strong and proud submissive/surrendered wife.
My personal pride takes a distant back seat to the pride I have in being His.
I can still be stubborn. I clear my head and return to HIM, surrendered. We are on the same side.
I work hard for everything WE want and need.  I work harder to put His wants and needs first.
I still want to be successful in everything I do, but now it is only His opinion that counts.
I am strong AND beautiful.  Inside and out.  He deserves all of me and he sees me perfectly.
Who am I to say that His wife is not the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
I love my Man passionately.  I love my Man intensely.  I love my Man unapologetically.
I love my Man with every ounce of submission and surrender in my heart.

Who my Man has always been.
He is loving.  He is honorable.  He is strong.  He is funny.
He is the reason I feel beautiful.  He is the reason I laugh out loud.
He is the reason I smile when I wake up and the reason I smile when I fall asleep.
He is every amazing moment in my life.  He is every bit of strength I have when my world is upside down.  He is every emotion that makes me feel alive.


What changed?  
Why now?  
I finally understand that my life only has meaning because my Man is in it.  I think that it's time I thank Him.


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you so much, this post meant a lot to me.

  2. I feel the same way, but from a submissive husband's point of view. Lovely post miss pearl!

    1. Thank you so much Jay! My heart really needed to have this written, I'm not sure how else to explain it. And, I KNOW you have the same love for your Mistress- your blog is such a lovely tribute to Her!

  3. oh you laid this out beautifully.
    My pet hate,btw, is 'all x should do x simple because they are x' comments.
    for example:
    All wives should give their husbands final say on decisions.
    All men are dominant.
    etc etc.
    It's all b********!

    'I do not believe that I follow men. I follow ONE Man.'
    oh how true this is. I don't follow and submit to 'a' man, any man, I submit to my love. Who just happens to be a man. And I submit because he is worthy, because it is safe to let out my instinctive expression of my devotion for and to him, because he allows me and facilitates it.

    You often hear it said or written that submission is a gift, well, I've always seen dominance as a gift - the acceptance off and opportunity for my submission is a huge gift.

    Sorry, went off at a tangent there! It was a very thought provoking post.

    1. Love your comments mckitten you know that! Long or short, you always have good things to add!! Thank you!!

  4. check out my blog at ... a nomination for you