As I posted earlier...my comments are not working right now. I am happy to make this letter an open post to you however so you know my support.
So nice to know your name first of all. I notice that when my comments or posts mean a great deal to me I almost sign my 'real' name. It warmed my heart to see yours.
I want to first start with how very courageous and loving your post was. What we all want in the end is a loving and passionate marriage, however we can find that. You, so very clearly, are searching for the same. The allure of D/s can be intoxicating, all encompassing even. The D/s titles feel liberating- unless/until they confine you. Navigating such a new path is difficult, even for those traditionally finding themselves in those roles all along I imagine. As you and I have talked about, my Man and I have found ourselves on the up side and down side of D/s. Where will we end up? Where will you and your Husband end up? I don't think there is an endpoint really for either of us. When your in it for the long haul, you continue to evolve. I do wish you and your Husband a loving journey throughout!
If submission is in you, submit. Not because you are a 'sub' but because that is the best way you feel you can give him love. Your love for him is clear- how AWESOME! If you choose to come back to blogland- please stop in and let me know. Your posts/comments have been such a support to me through my own journey!