Saturday, February 1, 2014

He said- she said. Talk during playtime.

This is a difficult post to write.  My thoughts are jumbled and disconnected.  I know what I need but how to put it clearly on the why I need it feels difficult.

On occasion when we play I beg him to talk to me.  To say anything.  I need the connection and guidance.  Don't get me wrong, he does talk when we play, but I come to a spot where I need him to talk to me.  We talked about this recently out of the bedroom.  

#250 on why I love this Man of mine so much?  We talk out of the bedroom.

He said:
For him, talking just to talk when we play reminds him of stupid porn lines when all they say is fake porn talk.  It is fake, planned, and does not match what we do.  When we play he thinks of what he is doing to me and what he is going to do next, if he has to say something, he does.  This is true.  He does give me direction, which I LOVE and NEED.  

How does this fit into what I am needing?

She said:
For me, talking is as varied as the playtime we have.  The talking I am in need of is when he is pushing me past the point of my own control.  I feel that me asking for help to work through the pain/pleasure I am in gives the impression that it's too much and we should just stop.  NO, No, NO!  For me, this is when the great sex becomes unbelievable!!  When he is spanking me with our wooden paddle it stings like a son of a bitch.  I have to work to calm, center, and accept each smack.  Hitting in the same spot accelerates my limit.  THIS is when I need him to talk.  When he takes me to this point I have exhausted my own ability to give myself over to the feeling, I am my own barrier.  This is the point where I need his control/connection to be it's strongest.  This is when I beg.  Say ANYTHING, please.  Tell me I am your whore and you like me in pain.  Tell me you will play with me until your done, tell me to focus, tell me your good girl will take 10 more and say thank you.  Tell me that you like me to cum and you like me to cum hard.  

I don't want to be in control.  I can't be in control.  I'm not in control.  When I have reached my tipping point and he doesn't talk to me I feel like no one is in control and I feel lost.  

During play time recently I got to this point and begged for him, he responded I'll do whatever I want to you.  I don't have to say a fucking thing.  There's my Man.  That is all I needed.  Control and connection.  Treat me like your personal whore, push me farther, demand my pussy be wet when your done.  I just need to hear that you see where I'm at and that you are with me.  When you kick into talking I know you understand how much I am giving you and how you will guide me to give you even more.  



4 comments:

  1. "I'll do whatever I want to you. I don't have to say a fucking thing." ..... "That is all I needed"

    *giggles* ... that is cute to me. He says I am not going to talk to you & you say thanks!

    I am sure you will both work it out to your mutual benefit. I get it though .. that need to hear from him during that time. I have been lucky in that department in the past. I kinda need it to!

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    1. It sounded funny when I wrote it too! In the moment though, it was really all I needed. XOXO

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  2. Ahh it's difficult to find the perfect equilibrium - between expressing what you need and not controlling the situation, but it sounds like you had a break through with your husband. ava x

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    1. Ava, you are so very right! How do you say what you need without saying how it should be?! We have such a strong love and respect for each other and he truly creates such a safe environment for honesty all the time. That helps for when I finally find my words =)

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