Monday, January 27, 2014

Oh, the joys of fisting!

**IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MEDICAL OR SAFETY ADVICE 
YOU NEED TO STOP READING NOW**THIS POST IS FOR NEITHER!!!**

Now with that little disclaimer out of the way, we are in for a bit of fun!  There has been some interest in my thoughts on vaginal fisting and I promised a post.  This post is based only on MY thoughts and experiences.  Two other quick notices: #1. This is for vaginal fisting, I know nothing about anal fisting.  #2. I say he/him for the one doing the fisting.  This is only because of my personal frame of reference.  If a female is fisting you- fantastic!  Enjoy!

WE START WITH MAINTENANCE.
For Him: Nail care is important, nails are dirty and scratches hurt.  On the D/s front, it is very sexy to care for his nails before we play.  I (sub) am lovingly and carefully preparing the hand/s that will be making me orgasm in painful/pleasure.  I find it amazingly HOT!

For me: I like to shower usually.  Not only is a clean undercarriage nice...the warm water is relaxing.  I go to the bathroom too.  The pressure/pain/stretching and orgasms are INTENSE for me with fisting.  I often get to a point were I could not stop cumming if I tried.  Gspot orgasms make my vagina clamp down and I can't fully give him control if I'm thinking I might pee or poop.  It puts a damper on the mood for me.
*On a side note...this is where having full trust in my Husband makes all the difference*
If a bedroom mishap does occur during any play time, we are in this together and he loves me the same. Sometimes with great fucking comes with unexpected body responses.  If they aren't sexy to you, then you really need to be in a safe relationship.  I imagine this could make a woman never squirt cum again if her partner is as mortified as she is.

NEXT, WE GRAB THE LUBE!
We learned very quickly that generous amounts of lube are the only way this was going to happen.  Again, sexy time.  Him lubing me, SEXY!  I like the prolonged sexual preparation, it puts me in the right frame of mind.  Gives my body time to surrender and relax, it allows my mind time to surrender and relax.  BOTH body and mind need to be relaxed.  Yes, we have had occasion where he attacks me (and my vagina!) but if you're just starting out with this- a vagina attack is not the way to go!!  Me lubing him/myself, also very sexy.  Just like prep'ing his hands...The act of prep'ing myself for him to take me further is amazingly sexy to me.  It is so intimate and centering.  I am put into submission and he is waiting to dominate me.  As I imagine the feeling of the preparation time right now, it feels like 'subspace'.  I feel like I am high, and everything is in a delicious slow motion.

NOW WE GO FOR IT.
My preference is to be on my back, legs spread.  I think he would say that his preference is me bent over in doggy style.  TomAto-tomato.  I think I feel more control on my back (and he likes it the other way, hmmm..interesting!).  He doesn't go all in with an actual fist, no vagina punching allowed here.  Just like in all the web "how-to's" his hand is in a duck bill point at the fingers to really curl in the base of his thumb to the base of his pinkey.  He starts with 1-2 fingers and puts more in from there.  When he pulls down a bit towards my ass I stretch easier than if he were to fight with my pubic bone above.  Again, he takes his time, measures my reaction and adds more when he sees I can handle it.  I have noticed that we have a bit of a dance worked out, he pushes in and holds.  I stay still as it stretches.  When I feel centered/relaxed/surrendered I push back to him, letting him know I can take more.  Communication is key.  Once he is fully in he starts to move.  Oh, I love each and every twinge!

HOW A KINK CHANGED MY LIFE.
Long before we were 'good' at this- we kept trying.  We took it slow.  I always loved the pressure, the stretching, the fullness. And, even before I knew I was his submissive, I loved that I was at his mercy.  Come to think of it, my very first true act of surrender/submission involved fisting.  I would beg him to stop, it felt like 'too much'.  Those are the only words I had to describe the sensation I was feeling, 'too much'.  As we talked about me telling him to stop, he basically brought it down to the fact that saying it was 'too much' was not a good enough reason for him to stop and that maybe him proceeding through could feel amazing.  He could not have been more right, and I could not have been prepared for how this changed us.  I let go of my control and gave myself to this Man.  I didn't know it at the time but I was becoming the submissive wife I am today.  I gave him my trust.  I gave him my body.  I gave him the reigns to lead me and take me somewhere I never knew existed.

My first true act of submission.  I remember the point it became 'too much' and I told him so.  Too much!  Too much...Too much....  I said it over and over as he continued to pump in and out of me.  He didn't let up, he didn't waiver.  I struggled in my mind, I didn't feel in danger, not true pain, just 'too much'.  I didn't know what was going to happen but, in that moment, I decided to let him take over.  At some point after the 'too much' feeling came on and I made no efforts to stop him, I felt a rush of warm fluid come out of me and down my legs.  I was so embarrassed and I hoped he didn't notice (silly, I know).  I didn't really know what happened.  Did I pee?  Did I cum?  Can girls really cum?  I just didn't know.  There was no smell, it felt wet but creamy, and it changed my 'too much' feeling.  Again, at the time, I was embarrassed.  I thought I had cum but I had no idea the correlation between the physical stimulation, the emotional choice to surrender, and the sopping wet puddle between my legs.  How is it possible that I had a Gspot?  I had trouble achieving clit orgasms, how in the hell did I do this?!  I'm embarrassed to say that it took me a few more Gspot/squirting orgasms to figure out that this was a good thing.  It is a VERY good thing!

Many years later I can tell you a few things:
1. This is a kink that we love and share.  THANKFULLY!
2. Each time is similar to the first time in that we have to prep and take our time, we make the effort to enjoy our kink safely.
3. I have not become all floppity at all!  That just HAD to be said.  There are times when he feels too big for PinV sex and there are times when he fingers me with only 2 fingers and it's a tight fit.  For me, I am back to my old self each time.
4.  Witch Hazel has been amazing!!  This is a recent discovery for me.  I put some on a cotton ball and wipe my outer parts each time I go to the bathroom.  It helps with the general sting and discomfort I have after a night of fun in no time at all, LOVE it!
5.  This is what WE do.  This is NOT medical advice.  This is NOT safety advice.  This is my blog- about my surrender- to my Husband- intended for me to talk freely about what we enjoy and to discuss those activities with others who have our same interests.  Nothing more.





9 comments:

  1. A great read. Me and my sub have very similar experiences . Thanks for sharing, I know this is a highlight of our relationship when we play aggressively like this. She really feels 'owned' after a long fisting session...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for stopping in and commenting! Yes, strong feelings with fisting. Opened up a new world for us. XOXO

      Delete
  2. Oooh - thank you so much for writing this, I've been waiting with baited breath!
    You make it sound very dooable, and thank you for the reassurance about not suddenly becoming 'floppity' as it were..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one was for you McKitten! Not floppity...I swear =) ! And, please let me know if/when you start working on it. I would love to hear how it's going. Any questions you have, just let me know. XOXO

      Delete
  3. Thank you for reading....hmmm....wonder if Sir is into fisting. You make it sound powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Does it have anything with giving birth?
    Because i haven't ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would really think that having a past vaginal birth would not make a huge difference with actually working your way up to fisting. When you do give birth, everything returns similar to old form =) Maybe it would make it a bit easier?? Either way, he doesn't have to be fisting me to make me cum. That just happened to be the activity that first brought us to that discovery!

      As for does squirting cum, I don't think it matters at all. I think it more has to do with trial and error, allowing my Man to take me past the intense sensations I was having, and feeling safe with my Man to experiment and try new things.

      If you google finding the female g-spot you will have a good start on what to do. Even now, I can cum fairly easily for him but there are still a few go to positions and techniques that make it easier for me to get there. I have also noticed that once I start it is very very easy to keep it going- even a hard swat on the ass/pussy can make me cum.

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete