The bitch is back. PMS has taken on a new meaning in my life. I become irritable, shitty, ungrateful, and (I imagine) not the least bit appealing to my Man. I/WE really need for this to change. This is something I have put great effort into lately. I ordered some essential oils to help calm my assholeness. I will update after I give them a try. We also talk a great deal about my ups and downs as they occur to hopefully ride them out a little easier.
The other night I felt the darkness creeping back in. We went to bed and I was crabby. Laying in our bed felt icy and lonely. The hardest part about this for me is that I want so badly to be touched and to be Dominated (in and out of the bedroom) but I can’t control my irrational thoughts long enough to be open. My head clamors with the insistence that everyone else is being too loud, too critical, and too irritating. My heart just cries out. I need release. The D/s side of us is new enough that my husband is still testing the waters on when to push or how hard to push. I want to show him my commitment to being his and I have tried to put my efforts into better submission when I am hormonal. Up until today I haven’t tried hard enough.
The morning started as a crabby continuation of the past night’s emotions. Kids off to school, husband watching TV, and I was sitting in the bathroom contemplating my choices. I could continue my shitty attitude that for some insane reason my head wants to stay in or I could surrender like my husband and my heart know that I need to. I decide to surrender.
I came out of the bathroom with my shirt off and sat at his feet. So, are you done being crabby? His huge smile giving his happiness away. Yes, I’m done. I lay in his lap and his hand slides under me and to my heavy, achy breasts. My bra is still on as he pinches my left nipple over and over, harder and longer each time. I sit up and turn to give him an easier path. I close my eyes and accept the release he gives me. He moves to the right nipple next, pinching and pulling. I am going to put my fist inside you today. But you’re going to do the work. You are going to bend over or do whatever you need to do to get it in. Now go get whatever you need.
I am lost in space. I slowly come back down to earth and get up to retrieve a towel and the lube. When I come back I am fully naked. I kneel down and rub lube on his hand and in and around my waiting pussy. I ask him, Do you want me to bend over or stand? He looks straight at me You need to do whatever you have to do to push it in. I. NEED. THIS.
I drop down on all fours with my pussy in line with his waiting hand. I slowly crawl back into him. I usually don’t get to control the pace of this, it’s different. I needed pain, I needed release. He allowed me to have them both. Delicious moans of pain and ecstasy are slowly coming out from deep within me. The feeling of my pussy stretching for HIM is so intense. I push more and pause, truly enjoying the bite of pain. The more I loose myself the more relaxed I become and I can take more. The pain doesn't go away it just pushes me further outside of my own body. It becomes a dance. Push. Pause. Moan. Enjoy. Repeat. I am unable to measure time at this point. He patiently waits for me to start fucking his hand in and out of my surrendered aching cunt. As I move he starts to rotate his hand a little at a time to increase the pressure. I have no idea how loud I am but I am no longer in control of my body. From the moment I backed into his hand my orgasm was just waiting. It is now here. My muscles tighten all around his hand and I cannot move. He takes over and gives me more sensation.
I couldn't think straight if I tried. I want you to crawl around and suck my dick but I don’t want you to let my hand out of you. He has mentioned before how much he loves to gives me tasks to serve him right after I have cum because my body and mind cannot process very well and it takes every bit of submission I have to get the task done. He IS a Dom- I knew it! Yes...Yes... I say to him and I slowly crawl to the side so that I am parallel to his body and my mouth is in line with his enormously stiff cock. I take him in my mouth and have to concentrate on moving and sucking, hand in my pussy and cock in my mouth. He starts to pump in and out of me and my brain short circuits. The head of his cock is past my throat and little sounds escape as I yell out my release. It won’t stop. I cum over and over. I can feel wetness drip down past my clit. Oh holy fuck. I start to drip onto my bent leg below. OH HOLY FUCK! I hear him moan, a strained orgasm filled moan. His hot cum fills my mouth and I swallow out of instinct. I am not coherent enough to savor him. I am as light as air and a heavy swollen orgasm all at once. It makes no sense, I am sure, but it was delightful. He slid his hand out from my grateful pussy and I lifted my mouth off his terrific cock. Thank you I said as I laid my head on him and we both drifted off for a bit to recover.