Monday, December 30, 2013

Dominant vs asshole

We are out to eat as a family.  My Husband is laughing and teasing me for some silly thing I do.  The kids join in and I fake pout.  I think I am Rodney Dangerfield, no respect!  I can't help but notice this family eating together a few tables away.  So many possible similarities between this family and mine.  She appears to be surrendered/submissive to me.  Obviously submissive though. She is fully attentive to her children, I like that. He appears to be the final decision maker and the one wearing the pants in the relationship.

I watch her and I imagine their relationship dynamic.  I believe she works hard to serve him, just as I do with my Man.  I can see her taking care of herself hoping to please him, just as I do for my Husband.  I can see her cleaning their home to make it just right, for him.  I am sure she is so much better at that then I am.  I imagine how it must come so easy to her to hold her tongue and let him lead the way.  I wonder how she came to the decision to be submissive/surrendered.  Is it only for him?  Was she always this way?

I create a scenario in my head on who they are when the lights go down.  Does she trust him?  That is when it hits me.  That is when I stop looking at her with fascination, and look at him.  He is not a Dominant Husband.  He hasn't looked up at his wife.  Not once.  He hasn't noticed her smile and her soft presence.  He hasn't acknowledged the adorable giggling children next to him, talking to him, hugging him, wanting his attention.  He is looking at his phone. He is eating his food.  He is completely unaware of his family around him.

I am sure he is the final decision maker.  I am sure he runs his home.  I am sure he wears the pants and barks his orders.  But he is NO Dominant Husband.  No, this guy is an ASSHOLE!


  1. You look at the world & people with new eyes once you're fully in the lifestyle, huh? I wish every woman could have the peace i have found, though i know it's too taboo for some.
    Great blog and posts, new follower & added to my bloglist, i'm looking forward to future posts :-)

    -RR Blondie

  2. RR Blondie, Thank you so much for stopping in! You put it well, 'the peace i have found'. I would say exactly that! My life is so simplified now and it feels wonderful. XOXO