Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Breaking rules and my cum on my hand...

We lay down in our bed spooning on our left sides, me in front.  My clothes are still on.  I feel grouchy and off.  His sister is staying with us for a few days and I am not liking it.  I like our home to be OUR home.  My submission/surrender falls to the wayside when I feel out of sync with him.

His right hand slides up my side and under my shirt.  Much of our fun time starts with him playing with my nipples.  This time is no different.  His fingers easily find my erect nipple.  He pulls and pinches. My heart is racing and every exhale is a quiet moaning breath.  I nuzzle my head into his chest and he moves in closer. He moves his hand off of my breast, down my stomach, and under my pants.  I part my knees and open my legs.  His hand slips past my clit and at my opening.  He leans into my ear.  Why haven't you been bringing your towel to bed?  His hand doesn't enter.  He is making a point.  If I want to cum I am expected to bring a towel to bed and I have made no effort to bring a towel to bed.  I have very few specific requests/rules from my husband since this D/s aspect started for us and a towel to bed is one of them.  I didn't think you wanted me to, I answer.  It's true.  My surrender/submission falls off and if he doesn't seem to notice or correct me it seems to continue a little more at a time.  Broken rule #1. I haven't been bringing a towel to bed, therefore, no cumming for me.  And why haven't you been finishing the dishes? His hand is still slightly rubbing the opening of my pussy as I roll my hips up and down.  Broken rule #2. Haven't been finishing the dishes each night.

This is why the spirit of domestic discipline would never work for us.  He could spank me for not doing what he asked of me, and I would welcome it.  AND, I would cum even harder when he was finished.  He could do maintenance spankings to remind me who was in charge, and I would welcome it.  AND, I would cum even harder when he finished that too!  I am wanting him to spank my pussy so badly right now and I know that having a house guest has all but squashed this possibility.

I ask you to do the dishes, get my side of the bed ready, and bring a fucking towel to bed.  Why have you been doing nothing I asked of you?  Broken rule #3. His bed was sloppy and matted down when he got in it.  I made no effort to get there before him and make it ready for him.

When you don't say anything I don't think it matters to you.  I think those of you reading this get where my head is in this moment.  I am stuck between feeling completely disappointed in myself as a loving/surrendered/submissive partner who is doing a shitty job of showing her love/surrender/submission and at the same time feeling proud, loved, and excited to have a partner who cares enough about my love/surrender/submission to tell me that he wants and expects more from me.  This two steps forward one step back can feel discouraging in the difficult moments but when the step forward includes him asking Why the fuck have you been doing nothing I have asked of you?  I am delivered to the most beautiful of submissive places.  I am at his feet in my heart and in my head and I am soaking wet between my legs.  I keep saying that I need this but I am slowly feeling that WE need this, and I like it.

I shouldn't have to say anything to you.  You know what I want you to do and I expect you to start fucking doing it.  I find it uncontrollably hot when he surrounds me with is body, his words, and his requests.  I do not slack off to get a rise out of him, we are not built like that.  I do have remaining insecurities that I brought this D/s to our relationship and I alone really want/need it.  We were going along just fine prior and this does take work.  I still need the reassurance that he wants/needs this too. He is definitely reassuring me right now.

This pussy is mine and I want it to fucking cum.  You don't deserve to cum but you're going to cum because I fucking want you to.   Enough of this pity party bullshit.  You are going to start sitting at my feet and hug me with your head in my lap.  His fingers work into my pussy and I am about to cum.  Telling me to sit at his feet is magic to my ears and apparently to my G-spot as well.  Do not cum yet.  Oh shit.  I usually ask permission to cum because I want to ask.  I didn't ask and I wasn't controlling myself for this.  I try so hard to focus and to not cum.  What are you going to cum on?  You don't have a towel and I don't want cum on the bed.  He is really showing me that WE need this.  He never minds my cum on the bed, the towel is just there to collect the majority of it.  But how I love it when he makes me work for my pleasure.  It turns on all my sensors when he directs me on how this play time will go. He is liking this too.  The more he directs me, the more I respond, and he really likes that!  I sit up and reach to the side of my bed by the wall, I remember a towel there.  I rummage past the blanket to find the towel.  I am so desperate to find that damn towel.  He wants me to cum and I want to cum.  I find the towel and quickly tucked it under my ass.

He is an expert on making me cum and I cannot wait to give him this.  I take off my clothes, lay back down, and open my legs.  His fingers dive straight into me.  Can I please cum...? I barely squeak out.  You can cum as much as you want.  I explode over and over.  I am never quiet when I cum and tonight I am covering my own mouth so our guest doesn't hear me.

My mind was scrambled so completely that I can't even remember at what point he told me to suck his dick but he did and I eagerly scrambled to my hands and knees to fuck him with my mouth.  On my knees....Oh...My...God.  I am on my knees with his cock in my mouth.  I start to cum again.  My stomach contracts during G-spot/squirting orgasms, I can't control it. It's the giveaway that I am losing control and cumming repeatedly.

I move my hand to pull the towel under me.  I want you to make yourself cum.  Cum all over your hand and rub it on my dick.  I have never made myself cum (G-spot cum) and I have never wanted to.  I want that all to him.  But if this Man wants me to make myself cum and rub it on him, I will.  I slide my hand up and into my wettness.  I am so wet.  My mouth is greedy, sucking and swallowing him whole as I curl my three middle fingers up and start to work them into this fuckhole meant for Him.  HOLY shit.  I bury my face down to the base of his cock to effectively cut off all sound I am trying to make.  As my fingers curl I feel it come...I am squirting my own cum onto my hand!  I pull off of him with my mouth and try to whisper I am cumming on my fucking hand!  Oh my God....Oh my God....Oh my God...  I am gasping for air.  I pull my soaking wet hand away and grab his cock.  I rub my cum up and down the length of him and work to lick every bit of it off of him.  I am a starving whore.  His whore.  All rational thought leaves me at this point. My only thoughts are to follow his requests.   I shove his cock as far down my throat as physically possible and I wildly cum all over my hand.  Oh holy fuck.

This went on for so much longer and if I had any self control I would have remembered the events better. Lucky for me, this Man knows how to perfectly make me loose all control.  I know that we have something wonderful and I am thankful every day for every moment we have spent together.  My submission is my gift to this Man.  After 21 years together...he has earned it.


  1. Replies
    1. It was very HOT! It's always hot when it's something new =)

  2. O.m.g. .... I need a shower, since Sir is not available. Please let Him be available today.

    1. I am LOVING that you needed a shower!! But, I do hope you got to enjoy Sir! Thank you!!

    2. No Sir today. In fact, possibly no Sir for 2+ more weeks. Dang holidays! Haha

  3. oh WOW! I should NOT have read this in the middle of the day >.<

    ' I do not slack off to get a rise out of him, we are not built like that. I do have remaining insecurities that I brought this D/s to our relationship and I alone really want/need it. '
    THIS. oooohhhh this.

    1. Oh MK, thank you so much! When I wrote that I imagined anyone reading would say "ya...right" but it is so true for us still at this point. The ups and downs are all part of it I am learning.