Friday, November 29, 2013

His Dominance makes me a better submissive.

My flowers.  Beautiful pink roses.  This Man is so good to me.  I love them!  I was made to love him and to be loved by him  Every ounce of my being- all for him.  Being loved BY him feels euphoric.  How can surprise flowers do this to me?  Maybe because I know that these are the gifts a good girl gets....a very good girl.

I walked around the couch to kneel in front of him.  That isn't a rule/request of his so much as it is what I need to do when I am near him (although I do hope he makes this a rule/request someday!).  I want him to know that I give myself to him.  My submission reinforces my need for his dominance.  When the kids are home I usually sit at his feet while he sits on the couch because I like to be close to him and I am proud for them to see that. When we are alone I sit/kneel because he owns me.  Whether he wants to prop his feet up on my lap and relax or he wants to pinch my nipples tight and pull me up high on my knees with my arms crossed above and behind my head as he tells me he is going to fuck my ass in a little while, I am surrendered to be where he wants me to be.  My choice is to give him everything he would like to take from me.  I do love when he chooses option #2 though.

My husband says I love how good you take care of me.  I look up at that strong face with that lightly growing scruff that I love to feel on my breasts and inner thighs.  I am such a good girl.  My shit eating grin must say exactly that to him.  That has to be the BEST thing a wife who wants to serve her husband could hear?  Oh babe, you are so very right.  I say MmmHmm as I rub my cheek on his hand.  A chemical combustion occurs in my body each time he acknowledges or ask me to serve him.  I imagine tiny flood gates bursting open, releasing endorphins that sweep away any negativity in my cells.  He cleanses my soul and I need the maintenance.  Oh, how I need the maintenance.  

Much later in the evening we are the only ones awake in the house.  I slide his pants down with the intent of showing him how good I can be, or how bad (whatever way he wants it).  I skim my tongue along the skin under his cock surrounding his balls.  I decide to slowly kiss up his soft shaft and lick the head as I anticipate the hardness to come.  I adore his cock- worship it in fact.  I could spend hours licking, sucking, circling, teasing, and devouring it.  And, I plan to!  It's as though he reads my mind....then reminds me that He is in charge of the decisions and how I will be pleasing him this evening.  Your goal right now is to make me come before I get hard.  All in one split second I am shocked that he knew my plan and horny a fuck that he asserted HIS plan.  Horny and wet...I will happily give this man everything he would like to take from me. It is as though the starting gun went off at the Kentucky Derby.  I suck on him like a starving slut and tug at his balls the way he loves.  I am in a race to his finish and for the first time in my life I do not relish the feeling of him getting hard.  The thickening in my mouth makes me out of control with want.  I want his cum.  He gave me a request and I want him to see how eager I am to please him.  I hear his moans, forced silent.  I love when he is enjoying himself so much he moans.  I love it even more when he tries to keep them quiet.

My heart is pounding, my mouth is pounding, and my pussy is drenched.  All at once his thighs tighten around me while his breath hitches then releases.  He is still soft/semi-hard as I taste his semen.  My mouth is full of semen.  I can normally feel it rush as it runs up the shaft, past my pressed lips and into my throat.   This was different.  No taut skin on hard cock to feel the strong spurts of cum release.  He is my husband, my Dominant husband, and I have done what he told me to do!   In this moment, his release feels as good as my own.  I am a very good girl indeed!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!  

Great time for me to give THANKS to all of you who have stopped in to give my new blog a chance!  Your comments have confirmed that I am in the right place.  When you leave a comment please let me know if you have a blog- I would love branch out my blog reading as well!  I am navigating my way a little better each day in blog world.  

Kids are out to Grandma's for a Thanksgiving sleepover.....time to turn out the lights and give my own "thanks"! 


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Who Needs to See Straight.

I want him so much I can’t see straight sometimes. The time and effort he took as he tied me up into my beautiful pink rope was intoxicating. Literally.  Being trussed up waiting for him.  Every cell in my body felt in slow motion.  

Naked and sitting on the floor he started with my legs spread open and cuffed onto our spreader bar.  My stomach rolls with excited little butterflies as he tells me Open more.  Very direct and matter of fact.  Oh yes, I will open more and ANYTHING else you had in mind.  Next are my arms, secured behind me at the elbows with hands at my waste.  Tight and secure but not painful...yet.  I closed my eyes as all of my other senses heighten.  The sound of the rope scraping against itself as he prepared it for me.  His smell, oh my, I could smell a million men and know which one is him.  The feelings, I think the cool feel of my wet pussy was just about all I could handle in that moment before I would completely loose control.  And taste.  I am a lucky, lucky little wife.  Having him fuck my mouth is heaven and I was feeling greedy.  I asked for it.  Please let me suck you.  He wasted no time, pulling his shorts down just below his balls.  No frills, nothing fancy, just delicious cock in my greedy mouth.  He ran his fingers into my pony tale and closed his hand into a fist. Time to hang on and enjoy the ride.  Enjoy it I did.

He pulled away without release.  Back to the ropes.  Oh I am in the most kinky clouds of heaven.  He normally doesn't go all out and restrain me.  He must be really wanting to play today.  He starts to wrap my breast with that pretty pink rope.  Hearing him talk to me was exquisite If the rope keeps falling off your tits I will just have to start all over.  His words alone could make me cum.  I hope he never forget that.   When he ties me down with ropes or words I am so, free.  No drugs or drinks needed, I am high.  I can absolutely fly.

His hands make their way into the waiting wetness between my legs. I couldn't have stopped him if I wanted to- and I did't want to.  I never want to.  I will do whatever he wants.  When he tells me what to do it feels even better.  Cum. Cum all over my fucking hand. Yes I will.  After too many orgasms to count I cannot even form a coherent thought.  I am seeing bright lights behind my closed eyes.  I am in flight.

He stands and takes his place back towards my mouth.  My tongue is out with my mouth open wide- I am ready to take all he wants to give me.  He gives me it all.  Straight into my throat.  I am so lucky to have a husband who wants all this.  Oh I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Happy Endings...and the night he (almost) broke my heart

I had been feeling off for some time.  My communication of needing to submit and surrender to my husband was not being made clear.  I want you to hurt me, I want to feel how much I can take for you.  His look of confusion should have said it all but his words hit straight to my core,  I don’t really need this.  We were on completely different pages and I was wearing my vulnerable heart on my bare sleeve.  How do you say that you feel like a better wife when you sit at his feet?  How do you say that you feel loved when he takes what he wants and holds your head down on his cock as you fight to not gag him out.  How do you say that you need this?!

From my vantage point I had searched my entire adult life for something I thought did not exist- what could be more than love?  What could be more than getting married, having his children, and saying I Love You?  What could possibly task me to show him and really live the love I so proudly say that I have for him?  It's too simple (and incorrect by the way) to say that my submission and surrender is just about sex.  Again, from my vantage point I had just discovered the cure for cancer, the fountain of youth, AND Jimmy Hoffa’s fucking grave site!  My heart was ripped wide open when I discovered submission.  The answer to every question I have ever asked and every prayer I ever prayed.  I don’t just love him I SERVE HIM. HOLY. SHIT.  Christmas morning!  Only I had not even considered it might not be his Christmas morning and I was absolutely unprepared for that.

His words were lost on me, all I heard was different versions of I don’t love/want you that way.  Just as he needed to be honest and share his thoughts, I had to be honest and share mine.  As per my usual, I spent time inside myself first.  I was utterly broken and felt more rejected by him than I ever remember feeling in all our lives together.  I spent days feeling just hollow.  I no longer felt that I belonged at his feet.  I no longer felt that what I was giving to him was any more than being an annoying partner and a cheap slut.  He can make me squirt cum.  I didn't want to cum, I didn't deserve to cum.  It was ugly and selfish and I couldn't believe I ever let go like that.  I hated ever wanting more than love with him.  I fell so easily into wanting to serve him that it ripped my soul out as I had to remind myself that I had no place at his feet.  And most certainly, that ever wanting to cum/be spanked/tied up/fucked/dominated just solidified how off track I was.

When I finally did talk it was because my sadness became unbearable.  I couldn't breathe.  I laid in our bed and felt, hopeless.  He thought I was angry- and that’s when I found my voice.  I’m actually not angry at all...I’m just......sad.  You said that you married the old Pearl but this is me too.  I remember crying, unable to find my breath for so long.  He asked me if doing all those things really felt like love to me, and without a moment of thought, I answered him.  Yes.  Complex question with a very simple answer.  Yes.  The fact that he asked me that question made me think that he had already decided on his answer.  I had chosen to submit to him and trust him unconditionally, and I felt that I would soon be agreeing to end this part of us.  He held me and I felt as though I was grieving.

I don’t ever want to come like I do anymore.  I almost whispered it out.  My head on his chest my arms and body facing his.  I was curled so tightly into him I wanted to feel no separation.  He softly asked me Why?  Again, I whispered Because it's stupid.  I think he felt my sadness in that moment.  He held me so close and lovingly and told me how much he loves me and how much he loves that I can cum for him.  I explained myself as best I could.  Being this for you has made me feel…alive!  I don’t want a pillow on the floor just to fuck you on.  I want a pillow on the floor when I sit next to you.  It makes me feel feminine.  To remind me of what I’m doing and where I belong with us.  He had no idea.  How could he.  I asked for a pillow in the middle of sucking his cock I’m sure.  

The night he (almost) broke my heart…..Oh thank God for HAPPY ENDINGS!   He told me that the last few days had been horrible.  Those very days that I felt I was giving him what he wanted.  Those very days I worked so hard to avoid serving and submitting to him.  Those very days that I stayed off my knees and off the floor and out of our bed.  Those very days that my heart was being torn out and ruined. 

I was on my back next to him, naked.  My legs open as his right hand slides up my inner thigh, fingers dipping inside me, whispering into my ear. Cum for me.  Oh how I like the warmth of his words in my ear. Sliding fingers in and up.  He knows my body so well.  Cum for me, babe.  His left arm curled around the back of my head as he takes my nipple between his fingers, squeezing and rolling.  Pain is so closely related to pleasure for me.  I push against his hand to feel, more.  My orgasm builds and I shook my head no over and over to make the sensations go away.  Equal parts of wanting to give him anything he asked for and never wanting to offer myself as a gift worth receiving ever again.  A true hell for a wife who has no need for her own heart, everything I have/am/will ever be is wrapped up in one simple truth.  I was made for him.  My intent in life is for his to be better and brighter.  How could I ever do that if I wasn't seeing myself as a gift for him?  I came.  Not because I wanted sex or because I wanted to be touched or because I wanted to be taken care of.  I came because he told me that HE wanted me to.  I came because I love him and he loves me right back.