Monday, December 30, 2013

Dominant vs asshole

We are out to eat as a family.  My Husband is laughing and teasing me for some silly thing I do.  The kids join in and I fake pout.  I think I am Rodney Dangerfield, no respect!  I can't help but notice this family eating together a few tables away.  So many possible similarities between this family and mine.  She appears to be surrendered/submissive to me.  Obviously submissive though. She is fully attentive to her children, I like that. He appears to be the final decision maker and the one wearing the pants in the relationship.

I watch her and I imagine their relationship dynamic.  I believe she works hard to serve him, just as I do with my Man.  I can see her taking care of herself hoping to please him, just as I do for my Husband.  I can see her cleaning their home to make it just right, for him.  I am sure she is so much better at that then I am.  I imagine how it must come so easy to her to hold her tongue and let him lead the way.  I wonder how she came to the decision to be submissive/surrendered.  Is it only for him?  Was she always this way?

I create a scenario in my head on who they are when the lights go down.  Does she trust him?  That is when it hits me.  That is when I stop looking at her with fascination, and look at him.  He is not a Dominant Husband.  He hasn't looked up at his wife.  Not once.  He hasn't noticed her smile and her soft presence.  He hasn't acknowledged the adorable giggling children next to him, talking to him, hugging him, wanting his attention.  He is looking at his phone. He is eating his food.  He is completely unaware of his family around him.

I am sure he is the final decision maker.  I am sure he runs his home.  I am sure he wears the pants and barks his orders.  But he is NO Dominant Husband.  No, this guy is an ASSHOLE!

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dirty talk, fantasies, wet panties and fucking.....I LOVE Christmas!

I came to bed ready.  His bed is prepared, dishes are done, towel in hand, and my shirt is off.  He is at my back and we are in a warm embrace.  The skin to skin is what my soul craves with this Man.  Without it I would shrivel into my shell.

His hands are all over my breasts.  Full hand grabbing, rubbing, and squeezing.  I love that my breasts give him so much excitement.  I can feel his cock stiffening between us.  He pinches my nipples.  My nipples are ALWAYS ready for him.  Before I even know I'm aroused, my nipples will perk up and harden.  Every time.  He is pinching deep on the base of my nipple with a strong possessive grip.  Full hand grasp on these beautiful breasts that were made for his pleasure.

He takes his place at my neck and closes in on my ear.  This Man knows how to get a girl going.  Why is my pussy covered?  I scramble for an answer.  I....uh.....  My thoughts are further scrambled when his grip moves towards the tip of my nipple.  The sensation changes to a punishing searing pain that makes my pussy swell.   And, where's your towel?  His hand moves to the spot where my bare clit should be.  Again, he uses a full possessive hand.   I brought it to bed!  My words come out as a breathless plea searching for sanity.  Slow, rhythmic, purposeful slaps land on my still covered pussy.  Ahhh... I can't stop my hips from rolling up and begging for more as he starts to rub my swollen clit.  I want you to cum in your panties...  I want you to soak them...  I want to feel your cum through your pants...  Fucking cum...  One hand works my nipple and breast while the other rubs circles on my clit and tries to push into my cunt.  In between his ownership laced commands he bites the edge of my ear.  The pain is so focused it is almost too much.  This is the pain I crave.  This is what sends me to my subbie space.   My stomach contracts, giving away the start of my orgasms.  Oh ya....fucking cum baby....cum for me.  I want you to be able to ring them out into my mouth.

At some point my pants come off.  But my lace panties stay on.  You like these panties, are they your favorite?  He is taunting me and I fucking love it.  I am his surrendered slut and if he wants to tear my favorite panties off of me, he will.  Just like he has done before. Yes sir I love these...  His hand pushes the fabric into my wet pussy as he works to milk my g-spot of all the cum I have.  You want me to fuck you don't you?!  You want a cock inside your pussy and a cock in your mouth don't you?  A girl between your legs with a strap on fucking you....YES, yes, yes.....I am answering his question and moaning the only word my orgasms will allow me to say clearly.  This Man alternates between growling dirty fantasies in my ear and nipping strong bites on my ear.  He slides the fabric to the side and sinks his fingers into my bare pussy.  I slide my hands under me as I lay on my back.  This is my offer of further submission to this Man.  I am all his and I am ready to enjoy the hard smacks, the soft licks, and the punishing bites.  He tells me to cum and I do, how lucky am I?!  His fingers are pounding into me.  Moans are escaping from deep within me.  I am his alone, nothing else exists.

He stops his finger fucking and turns almost onto his stomach.  You can cum more after you rub my shoulders and back.  He plays dirty....and that's my favorite way to play.  I am barely able to think straight.  My body is on edge and my pussy continues to contract as I attempt to get to my knees.  As I place my hands on his back, I lean in to kiss it first.  Between being on my knees, the shifting between my legs, and the smell of him as I kiss his back- my pussy clenches down in a strong sustained climax.  It takes all my breath away and my mouth is open in a silent moan against his skin.  I wait for the breath to start again as I slowly recall that I should be rubbing him.

Eventually my hands find their way to his ass.  My own orgasms have calmed down and I am intent on driving him equally insane with desire.  I slide my hand over his ass and between his cheeks.  I do my best to tease and taunt his asshole as I do as I am told and "rub his back".  He breaths out a slight moan and his hips start to rock.  I grasp the area just under his balls and rub deep.  My mind is focused on one thing only.  I want to fuck this Man like an animal.  I want his cum all over and in me.  I am feral.  I have no limits and no understanding of boundaries.  I want to devour him.

Turn around and fuck me.  He reads my mind, oh how I want to fuck him.  With that yummy command, he turns over.  His cock looks painfully hard.  I just want to fuck him until he goes soft.  I face towards his feet and straddle him as he places his hands on my ass and I am lowered onto him.  You are so wet baby.  And, I am.  He slides past my swollen tissues.  My pussy wants this invasion.  I slowly lower as deep as he can physically go into me.  He is hitting my cervix and making me gasp.  And. I. Love. It.  Every painful/pleasurable inch of it.  Stay deep on me and cum all over my dick.  I can feel the sensation deep inside me and I am sure I am wet as I type this.  I pump down onto his cock as I arch the bottom of my back then push my ass into him.  My stomach clenches down, I start to cum.  Oh baby, cum on me.  All at once I can feel the inside of my wet cunt contract down on him like a vice.  I am seeing stars.  Something has taken over my body and I can feel the possessive squeezing force it has as my pussy is grasping his cock.  I can only shake and ride out this wave of orgasms.  Turn around!  Put my dick in your mouth and eat my cum.  His words push me further into a fog of surrender while still keeping me present to what is happening.  I know this ending so well and it is one of my favorites.  The taste of me....all over him....Oh hell, we taste so good together.  I take every last drop and keep my mouth around him as I suck and lick every last bit of us off of him.

We didn't celebrate "Fist"mas as we thought we would but I do LOVE Christmas sex!!  Every day is a gift with this Man, I am so lucky.  I love my life.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Fistmas!

Christmas morning!  He makes me a warm cup of sweet and creamy coffee.  Mmmm.  We gather around the Christmas tree and there is only one chair, for Him.

I can sit back on the couch......Or, I can move some things and sit on the floor by you, I say.

That's what I expected, He says.  

It's Christmas morning and he DOES like his Christmas gift!  (re: blog post #1)

I am so thankful and blessed to have this Man as my own.  
I am so thankful and blessed that He has me, as his owned!  

More on our celebration of "Fistmas" and licking Santa's sack later....for now, I have a spot on the floor next to this Man who makes my heart melt and my ass burn!!  Cheers!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Breaking rules and my cum on my hand...

We lay down in our bed spooning on our left sides, me in front.  My clothes are still on.  I feel grouchy and off.  His sister is staying with us for a few days and I am not liking it.  I like our home to be OUR home.  My submission/surrender falls to the wayside when I feel out of sync with him.

His right hand slides up my side and under my shirt.  Much of our fun time starts with him playing with my nipples.  This time is no different.  His fingers easily find my erect nipple.  He pulls and pinches. My heart is racing and every exhale is a quiet moaning breath.  I nuzzle my head into his chest and he moves in closer. He moves his hand off of my breast, down my stomach, and under my pants.  I part my knees and open my legs.  His hand slips past my clit and at my opening.  He leans into my ear.  Why haven't you been bringing your towel to bed?  His hand doesn't enter.  He is making a point.  If I want to cum I am expected to bring a towel to bed and I have made no effort to bring a towel to bed.  I have very few specific requests/rules from my husband since this D/s aspect started for us and a towel to bed is one of them.  I didn't think you wanted me to, I answer.  It's true.  My surrender/submission falls off and if he doesn't seem to notice or correct me it seems to continue a little more at a time.  Broken rule #1. I haven't been bringing a towel to bed, therefore, no cumming for me.  And why haven't you been finishing the dishes? His hand is still slightly rubbing the opening of my pussy as I roll my hips up and down.  Broken rule #2. Haven't been finishing the dishes each night.

This is why the spirit of domestic discipline would never work for us.  He could spank me for not doing what he asked of me, and I would welcome it.  AND, I would cum even harder when he was finished.  He could do maintenance spankings to remind me who was in charge, and I would welcome it.  AND, I would cum even harder when he finished that too!  I am wanting him to spank my pussy so badly right now and I know that having a house guest has all but squashed this possibility.

I ask you to do the dishes, get my side of the bed ready, and bring a fucking towel to bed.  Why have you been doing nothing I asked of you?  Broken rule #3. His bed was sloppy and matted down when he got in it.  I made no effort to get there before him and make it ready for him.

When you don't say anything I don't think it matters to you.  I think those of you reading this get where my head is in this moment.  I am stuck between feeling completely disappointed in myself as a loving/surrendered/submissive partner who is doing a shitty job of showing her love/surrender/submission and at the same time feeling proud, loved, and excited to have a partner who cares enough about my love/surrender/submission to tell me that he wants and expects more from me.  This two steps forward one step back can feel discouraging in the difficult moments but when the step forward includes him asking Why the fuck have you been doing nothing I have asked of you?  I am delivered to the most beautiful of submissive places.  I am at his feet in my heart and in my head and I am soaking wet between my legs.  I keep saying that I need this but I am slowly feeling that WE need this, and I like it.

I shouldn't have to say anything to you.  You know what I want you to do and I expect you to start fucking doing it.  I find it uncontrollably hot when he surrounds me with is body, his words, and his requests.  I do not slack off to get a rise out of him, we are not built like that.  I do have remaining insecurities that I brought this D/s to our relationship and I alone really want/need it.  We were going along just fine prior and this does take work.  I still need the reassurance that he wants/needs this too. He is definitely reassuring me right now.

This pussy is mine and I want it to fucking cum.  You don't deserve to cum but you're going to cum because I fucking want you to.   Enough of this pity party bullshit.  You are going to start sitting at my feet and hug me with your head in my lap.  His fingers work into my pussy and I am about to cum.  Telling me to sit at his feet is magic to my ears and apparently to my G-spot as well.  Do not cum yet.  Oh shit.  I usually ask permission to cum because I want to ask.  I didn't ask and I wasn't controlling myself for this.  I try so hard to focus and to not cum.  What are you going to cum on?  You don't have a towel and I don't want cum on the bed.  He is really showing me that WE need this.  He never minds my cum on the bed, the towel is just there to collect the majority of it.  But how I love it when he makes me work for my pleasure.  It turns on all my sensors when he directs me on how this play time will go. He is liking this too.  The more he directs me, the more I respond, and he really likes that!  I sit up and reach to the side of my bed by the wall, I remember a towel there.  I rummage past the blanket to find the towel.  I am so desperate to find that damn towel.  He wants me to cum and I want to cum.  I find the towel and quickly tucked it under my ass.

He is an expert on making me cum and I cannot wait to give him this.  I take off my clothes, lay back down, and open my legs.  His fingers dive straight into me.  Can I please cum...? I barely squeak out.  You can cum as much as you want.  I explode over and over.  I am never quiet when I cum and tonight I am covering my own mouth so our guest doesn't hear me.

My mind was scrambled so completely that I can't even remember at what point he told me to suck his dick but he did and I eagerly scrambled to my hands and knees to fuck him with my mouth.  On my knees....Oh...My...God.  I am on my knees with his cock in my mouth.  I start to cum again.  My stomach contracts during G-spot/squirting orgasms, I can't control it. It's the giveaway that I am losing control and cumming repeatedly.

I move my hand to pull the towel under me.  I want you to make yourself cum.  Cum all over your hand and rub it on my dick.  I have never made myself cum (G-spot cum) and I have never wanted to.  I want that all to him.  But if this Man wants me to make myself cum and rub it on him, I will.  I slide my hand up and into my wettness.  I am so wet.  My mouth is greedy, sucking and swallowing him whole as I curl my three middle fingers up and start to work them into this fuckhole meant for Him.  HOLY shit.  I bury my face down to the base of his cock to effectively cut off all sound I am trying to make.  As my fingers curl I feel it come...I am squirting my own cum onto my hand!  I pull off of him with my mouth and try to whisper I am cumming on my fucking hand!  Oh my God....Oh my God....Oh my God...  I am gasping for air.  I pull my soaking wet hand away and grab his cock.  I rub my cum up and down the length of him and work to lick every bit of it off of him.  I am a starving whore.  His whore.  All rational thought leaves me at this point. My only thoughts are to follow his requests.   I shove his cock as far down my throat as physically possible and I wildly cum all over my hand.  Oh holy fuck.

This went on for so much longer and if I had any self control I would have remembered the events better. Lucky for me, this Man knows how to perfectly make me loose all control.  I know that we have something wonderful and I am thankful every day for every moment we have spent together.  My submission is my gift to this Man.  After 21 years together...he has earned it.

Friday, December 13, 2013

A Cock Worshiping Society Quiz

A CWS Quiz

Here are my answers to Fondles quiz posted on  Fun questions Fondles!!  Here goes.....


1. Does the cock you worship have a name? Would you like to give him one? 
No name.  Don't have any plans to name him.

2. What's the max number of times you've worshipped cock in a 24 hour period? 
Back when we were younger it was 9 I believe.   Recently we had a night away and matched that!  We are older and hoping to get better!  -I bet he will read this and correct me =)

3. How often does cock-worshipping take place?
NOT nearly as much as I would like!  Sometimes we can skip a few days (not my favorite!).  Other times it can be a few times a day/night for days in a row.

4. When worshipping cock, do you start with balls? [Yes / No and elaborate please.]
Yes, when I want to seduce him and really linger and savor him I start with the balls.  I usually will pull the skin around his balls up and start licking at the very base (near his ass) then lick up to take each one in my mouth, one at a time, and slowly make my way up to the head of his cock and then work his cock with my mouth.  Starting with his balls is more sensual for me.
No, when I just want to dive in and fuck him with my mouth.  Skipping the balls is more of a "lets fuck" feeling for me and not the seductive meal I make of him when I start with the balls.

5. Do / Can you deep throat?
I can and I do!!! YAHOO!!  I am working on more tongue action while he is deep in my throat and swallowing too.  I am always looking for tips on better deep throating.

6. Spit or swallow? (Yeah yeah, I had to right?)
Swallow.  I almost always milk it out until the last drop.   Once in a great while between his amount of cum and my amount of saliva I just cannot swallow it all and I spit it out.

7. What do you focus on when worshipping cock? 
His cock, his sounds, his breathing.  I focus giving every ounce of emotion I have to him.

8. How long is a typical cock worshipping session for you?
I don't know time really, but, when my intent is to worship his cock it feels like it can last hours.  He is often done after he cums so I like to take my time.  To keep it going after he cums I keep him semi-hard in my mouth and work him up to cumming again.

9. What is your favourite cock worshipping position?
I have a few favorites for different reasons.
**On my knees feels feminine, submissive, and beautiful.
**Husband on his back and me hands and knees on his right side facing towards his feet helps me take the curve of his cock all the way down my throat best.
**My favorite fun position is me laying on my back on the bed, head hanging off and him standing over me fucking my mouth.

10. If you had to give up oral sex, which would you choose - never giving again, or never getting again?
This one is easy for me.  I would give up receiving oral.  I like receiving but I absolutely LOVE to give.  I love to taste him, I love to taste me on him.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Why I Love Sucking Cock...

The more appropriate title is "Why I Love Sucking His Cock".

My cock worship is for one cock only. His cum and his cock are mine alone.  Equal parts submission and control for me.  I am surrendered to him in every way.  I take care of this amazing man as best I can every day.  This includes loving and worshiping his cock.  I would never give this up.  This is something I don't budge on.  Last year we decided to celebrate the year of '12 in the best way we could think of.  We represented the numbers literally together.  He as the #1 (standing) and me as the #2 (on my knees).  I spent the summer of '12, licking, sucking, humming, deep throating, teasing, savoring, swallowing, and enjoying his cock each day in some way.  This year has been much of the same wonderful activities.  

The more surrendered to him I have become the more I have felt territorial over his cock and cum.  I prefer he not even masturbate without me there to take his cum in some way.  It marks me as his and although there is a control component on my part in wanting his cum in/on me in some way I do feel that the act shows him the best I have in my surrender/submissiveness to him.

As I am writing this he is giving me a "what the hell look"  and he just threatened to close the computer on me!  I guess he wants me to stop writing and start doing.....he asked for a massage (but we all know I am getting some dick in my mouth tonight!)

Sunday, December 8, 2013

One hell of an ass beating

My favorite spanking my man ever gifted me with was not too long ago.  How it began and the fucking that followed are a complete blur at this point, but the spanking is crystal clear.

He told me to lay face down on the couch.  I closed my eyes and tuned into the sound of what he was doing. I love to listen to him rummage through our toy box.  Let me clarify, I FUCKING love to listen to him rummage through our toy box.  The lock on the box being unlocked, the metal clips clinking together, the velcro leg straps, the zipper on the vibrator/dildo bag, the change in his breathing as he prepares to play with me.  I am so turned on by those sounds.  Some of our wildest fucking has been the direct result of a song playing that unexpectedly drove us crazy with lust.  "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin is a great blowjob song by the way.  My mind wanders....sorry.

Lift your head.  He slips my pretty pink collar around my neck and buckles it.  A gesture that should make me feel like a dog, however, this man somehow makes it feel like he is placing my wedding band on my finger each time.  Open your mouth.  My gag.  Mmmmm.  It has holes so I can breath better.  Normally it makes my mouth dry out as I am panting and panting.  Trust me, that is no complaint, just an observation.  I lay my head back down and my body already feels like it's on fire.  Hands above your head.  He places my leather cuffs onto my wrists and clips them together behind my head.  And for the first my neck. I love predicament bondage.  If I move my hands from where he secured them I will pull at my neck collar. How fucking hot.

I feel the the long handled wooden paddle sliding against my ass and thighs.  He runs the paddle up and down, decides on the perfect spot, then rubs the paddle in circles as if to make a bulls eye.  I arch my lower back to tilt my ass in the air as an offer to this man who owns me and the beautiful ass he is about to mark.  I slow my breathing, relax, and prepare for the blow to come. Then. POP!  He gives my waiting ass a warm sting.  It makes me jump and let out a yell/moan.  I center myself again as he strokes up and down and starts his bulls eye circle again.  I arch and lift to him again.  He places these whacks all over each ass cheek.  Left then right.  Then, he seems to remember our talk on where my "sitting spots" are and how much I LOVE when it hurts to sit after he spanks me.  Right where the thigh meets the bottom of my ass.  He peppers my sitting spots. Then back to my ass- and now my thighs.  He alternates between a tap-SLAP and the circle- POP rhythm he started with.

I hear my breathing going into hyperdrive, I am spinning out of control.  My mouth is not it's usual dry when my gag is in.  I am panting uncontrollably but drool is pouring out of my mouth.  I always thought that would make me feel gross.  It does not.  It makes me feel like the hungry whore my husband deserves.  It makes me feel like my mouth is getting ready for him to fuck if he wants.  It makes me aware that I have given my body over to him in this intimate act of submission.  He hits the same spot over and over.  I am yelling through my gag and my legs jerk up, bent at the knees, to cover my ass.  I did't say you could move your legs.  Put your legs down!  I put my legs down and attempt to slow my breathing.  My eyes are wide open, hands still restrained together behind my head and to my collar (which is now pulling as I react to each blow).  I fall deeper into my surrender.  Arch my back.  Lift my ass into the air.  SLAP!  All at once I am scared.  My legs jerk up to cover my ass again and he growls Put your fucking legs down.  I have a safe-word but all I choose to say is OK..OK..OK.through my gag.  I lay my shaking legs back down.  Safe-word would stop what he is doing and I don't want him to stop.  He asks me through out if I am ok and if I want to continue, and I do.

The spanking is harder to take than I have ever experienced in our life before.  But his commands are my undoing.  It pushes me over the edge when he talks to me when we play.  My ass belongs to him, to fuck or to beat as he wants....and I love it!  My ass is on fire as I lift into him and whimper.  The pain is intense.  My emotions are intense. Time slowed and I had an hour of mind ramblings condensed into a few fleeting moments.  THIS is what I have wanted to give this man.  My ultimate submission and trust to push my limits are his alone.  This is where I had been waiting for him to take me.  I have more to give and he has more to take.  No safe-word needed.  I am not scared, I am home.

He roughly shoves two fingers into my slick cunt, pulls them out and wipes my wetness on my ass.  To this day I don't know if he just gave me a quick finger fuck for good measure or if he was checking to see if I was aroused.  I was absolutely aroused as he drove me straight to the edge.  I LOVED it!  I loved the spanking. I loved the red-spotty bruising that stayed for a few days after.  I LOVED the sting of pain I felt the remainder of that day, and in through the next, as I pulled up my pants or sat on my ass.  By far my favorite feeling in the middle of a boring day is a zap of pain from some random body part that my Man enjoyed fully the night (or day) before.  It can feel as sweet as surprise flowers.  I am his and he LOVES it!

**A few things I feel the need to add about this post.  We personally do not practice any form of DD/punishment.  Any and all spanking that occurs in our sex life is just that....part of our sex life. I have no issue with DD/punishment, it's just not for us. When I stated that I was "scared" that is the truth.  I had never been taken to such heights before.  Years back when my husband would fist me I would stop him, the sensations were just "too much".   We talked about letting him continue and take me further.  I finally opened up and didn't stop my husband as he fingered me way past an intensity I thought I could handle...I had my first squirting orgasm!  If that didn't come across in this post it is only that my writing could not match the amazing experience this was.

Monday, December 2, 2013

On all fours...

The bitch is back.  PMS has taken on a new meaning in my life.  I become irritable, shitty, ungrateful, and (I imagine) not the least bit appealing to my Man.  I/WE really need for this to change.  This is something I have put great effort into lately.  I ordered some essential oils to help calm my assholeness.  I will update after I give them a try.  We also talk a great deal about my ups and downs as they occur to hopefully ride them out a little easier.   

The other night I felt the darkness creeping back in.  We went to bed and I was crabby.  Laying in our bed felt icy and lonely.  The hardest part about this for me is that I want so badly to be touched and to be Dominated (in and out of the bedroom) but I can’t control my irrational thoughts long enough to be open.  My head clamors with the insistence that everyone else is being too loud, too critical, and too irritating.  My heart just cries out.  I need release.  The D/s side of us is new enough that my husband is still testing the waters on when to push or how hard to push.  I want to show him my commitment to being his and I have tried to put my efforts into better submission when I am hormonal.  Up until today I haven’t tried hard enough. 

The morning started as a crabby continuation of the past night’s emotions.  Kids off to school, husband watching TV, and I was sitting in the bathroom contemplating my choices.  I could continue my shitty attitude that for some insane reason my head wants to stay in or I could surrender like my husband and my heart know that I need to.  I decide to surrender.

I came out of the bathroom with my shirt off and sat at his feet.  So, are you done being crabby?  His huge smile giving his happiness away.  Yes, I’m done.  I lay in his lap and his hand slides under me and to my heavy, achy breasts.  My bra is still on as he pinches my left nipple over and over, harder and longer each time.  I sit up and turn to give him an easier path.  I close my eyes and accept the release he gives me.  He moves to the right nipple next, pinching and pulling.  I am going to put my fist inside you today.  But you’re going to do the work.  You are going to bend over or do whatever you need to do to get it in.  Now go get whatever you need. 

I am lost in space.  I slowly come back down to earth and get up to retrieve a towel and the lube.  When I come back I am fully naked.  I kneel down and rub lube on his hand and in and around my waiting pussy.  I ask him, Do you want me to bend over or stand?  He looks straight at me You need to do whatever you have to do to push it in.  I. NEED. THIS.

I drop down on all fours with my pussy in line with his waiting hand.  I slowly crawl back into him.  I usually don’t get to control the pace of this, it’s different.  I needed pain, I needed release.  He allowed me to have them both.  Delicious moans of pain and ecstasy are slowly coming out from deep within me.  The feeling of my pussy stretching for HIM is so intense.  I push more and pause, truly enjoying the bite of pain.  The more I loose myself the more relaxed I become and I can take more.  The pain doesn't go away it just pushes me further outside of my own body.  It becomes a dance.  Push. Pause. Moan. Enjoy. Repeat.  I am unable to measure time at this point.  He patiently waits for me to start fucking his hand in and out of my surrendered aching cunt.  As I move he starts to rotate his hand a little at a time to increase the pressure.  I have no idea how loud I am but I am no longer in control of my body.  From the moment I backed into his hand my orgasm was just waiting.  It is now here.  My muscles tighten all around his hand and I cannot move.  He takes over and gives me more sensation.  

I couldn't think straight if I tried.  I want you to crawl around and suck my dick but I don’t want you to let my hand out of youHe has mentioned before how much he loves to gives me tasks to serve him right after I have cum because my body and mind cannot process very well and it takes every bit of submission I have to get the task done.  He IS a Dom- I knew it!  Yes...Yes... I say to him and I slowly crawl to the side so that I am parallel to his body and my mouth is in line with his enormously stiff cock.  I take him in my mouth and have to concentrate on moving and sucking, hand in my pussy and cock in my mouth.  He starts to pump in and out of me and my brain short circuits.   The head of his cock is past my throat and little sounds escape as I yell out my release.  It won’t stop.  I cum over and over.  I can feel wetness drip down past my clit.  Oh holy fuck.  I start to drip onto my bent leg below.  OH HOLY FUCK!  I hear him moan, a strained orgasm filled moan.  His hot cum fills my mouth and I swallow out of instinct.  I am not coherent enough to savor him.  I am as light as air and a heavy swollen orgasm all at once.  It makes no sense, I am sure, but it was delightful.  He slid his hand out from my grateful pussy and I lifted my mouth off his terrific cock. Thank you I said as I laid my head on him and we both drifted off for a bit to recover.

Friday, November 29, 2013

His Dominance makes me a better submissive.

My flowers.  Beautiful pink roses.  This Man is so good to me.  I love them!  I was made to love him and to be loved by him  Every ounce of my being- all for him.  Being loved BY him feels euphoric.  How can surprise flowers do this to me?  Maybe because I know that these are the gifts a good girl gets....a very good girl.

I walked around the couch to kneel in front of him.  That isn't a rule/request of his so much as it is what I need to do when I am near him (although I do hope he makes this a rule/request someday!).  I want him to know that I give myself to him.  My submission reinforces my need for his dominance.  When the kids are home I usually sit at his feet while he sits on the couch because I like to be close to him and I am proud for them to see that. When we are alone I sit/kneel because he owns me.  Whether he wants to prop his feet up on my lap and relax or he wants to pinch my nipples tight and pull me up high on my knees with my arms crossed above and behind my head as he tells me he is going to fuck my ass in a little while, I am surrendered to be where he wants me to be.  My choice is to give him everything he would like to take from me.  I do love when he chooses option #2 though.

My husband says I love how good you take care of me.  I look up at that strong face with that lightly growing scruff that I love to feel on my breasts and inner thighs.  I am such a good girl.  My shit eating grin must say exactly that to him.  That has to be the BEST thing a wife who wants to serve her husband could hear?  Oh babe, you are so very right.  I say MmmHmm as I rub my cheek on his hand.  A chemical combustion occurs in my body each time he acknowledges or ask me to serve him.  I imagine tiny flood gates bursting open, releasing endorphins that sweep away any negativity in my cells.  He cleanses my soul and I need the maintenance.  Oh, how I need the maintenance.  

Much later in the evening we are the only ones awake in the house.  I slide his pants down with the intent of showing him how good I can be, or how bad (whatever way he wants it).  I skim my tongue along the skin under his cock surrounding his balls.  I decide to slowly kiss up his soft shaft and lick the head as I anticipate the hardness to come.  I adore his cock- worship it in fact.  I could spend hours licking, sucking, circling, teasing, and devouring it.  And, I plan to!  It's as though he reads my mind....then reminds me that He is in charge of the decisions and how I will be pleasing him this evening.  Your goal right now is to make me come before I get hard.  All in one split second I am shocked that he knew my plan and horny a fuck that he asserted HIS plan.  Horny and wet...I will happily give this man everything he would like to take from me. It is as though the starting gun went off at the Kentucky Derby.  I suck on him like a starving slut and tug at his balls the way he loves.  I am in a race to his finish and for the first time in my life I do not relish the feeling of him getting hard.  The thickening in my mouth makes me out of control with want.  I want his cum.  He gave me a request and I want him to see how eager I am to please him.  I hear his moans, forced silent.  I love when he is enjoying himself so much he moans.  I love it even more when he tries to keep them quiet.

My heart is pounding, my mouth is pounding, and my pussy is drenched.  All at once his thighs tighten around me while his breath hitches then releases.  He is still soft/semi-hard as I taste his semen.  My mouth is full of semen.  I can normally feel it rush as it runs up the shaft, past my pressed lips and into my throat.   This was different.  No taut skin on hard cock to feel the strong spurts of cum release.  He is my husband, my Dominant husband, and I have done what he told me to do!   In this moment, his release feels as good as my own.  I am a very good girl indeed!

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!


Great time for me to give THANKS to all of you who have stopped in to give my new blog a chance!  Your comments have confirmed that I am in the right place.  When you leave a comment please let me know if you have a blog- I would love branch out my blog reading as well!  I am navigating my way a little better each day in blog world.  

Kids are out to Grandma's for a Thanksgiving sleepover.....time to turn out the lights and give my own "thanks"! 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Who Needs to See Straight.

I want him so much I can’t see straight sometimes. The time and effort he took as he tied me up into my beautiful pink rope was intoxicating. Literally.  Being trussed up waiting for him.  Every cell in my body felt in slow motion.  

Naked and sitting on the floor he started with my legs spread open and cuffed onto our spreader bar.  My stomach rolls with excited little butterflies as he tells me Open more.  Very direct and matter of fact.  Oh yes, I will open more and ANYTHING else you had in mind.  Next are my arms, secured behind me at the elbows with hands at my waste.  Tight and secure but not painful...yet.  I closed my eyes as all of my other senses heighten.  The sound of the rope scraping against itself as he prepared it for me.  His smell, oh my, I could smell a million men and know which one is him.  The feelings, I think the cool feel of my wet pussy was just about all I could handle in that moment before I would completely loose control.  And taste.  I am a lucky, lucky little wife.  Having him fuck my mouth is heaven and I was feeling greedy.  I asked for it.  Please let me suck you.  He wasted no time, pulling his shorts down just below his balls.  No frills, nothing fancy, just delicious cock in my greedy mouth.  He ran his fingers into my pony tale and closed his hand into a fist. Time to hang on and enjoy the ride.  Enjoy it I did.

He pulled away without release.  Back to the ropes.  Oh I am in the most kinky clouds of heaven.  He normally doesn't go all out and restrain me.  He must be really wanting to play today.  He starts to wrap my breast with that pretty pink rope.  Hearing him talk to me was exquisite If the rope keeps falling off your tits I will just have to start all over.  His words alone could make me cum.  I hope he never forget that.   When he ties me down with ropes or words I am so, free.  No drugs or drinks needed, I am high.  I can absolutely fly.

His hands make their way into the waiting wetness between my legs. I couldn't have stopped him if I wanted to- and I did't want to.  I never want to.  I will do whatever he wants.  When he tells me what to do it feels even better.  Cum. Cum all over my fucking hand. Yes I will.  After too many orgasms to count I cannot even form a coherent thought.  I am seeing bright lights behind my closed eyes.  I am in flight.

He stands and takes his place back towards my mouth.  My tongue is out with my mouth open wide- I am ready to take all he wants to give me.  He gives me it all.  Straight into my throat.  I am so lucky to have a husband who wants all this.  Oh I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Happy Endings...and the night he (almost) broke my heart

I had been feeling off for some time.  My communication of needing to submit and surrender to my husband was not being made clear.  I want you to hurt me, I want to feel how much I can take for you.  His look of confusion should have said it all but his words hit straight to my core,  I don’t really need this.  We were on completely different pages and I was wearing my vulnerable heart on my bare sleeve.  How do you say that you feel like a better wife when you sit at his feet?  How do you say that you feel loved when he takes what he wants and holds your head down on his cock as you fight to not gag him out.  How do you say that you need this?!

From my vantage point I had searched my entire adult life for something I thought did not exist- what could be more than love?  What could be more than getting married, having his children, and saying I Love You?  What could possibly task me to show him and really live the love I so proudly say that I have for him?  It's too simple (and incorrect by the way) to say that my submission and surrender is just about sex.  Again, from my vantage point I had just discovered the cure for cancer, the fountain of youth, AND Jimmy Hoffa’s fucking grave site!  My heart was ripped wide open when I discovered submission.  The answer to every question I have ever asked and every prayer I ever prayed.  I don’t just love him I SERVE HIM. HOLY. SHIT.  Christmas morning!  Only I had not even considered it might not be his Christmas morning and I was absolutely unprepared for that.

His words were lost on me, all I heard was different versions of I don’t love/want you that way.  Just as he needed to be honest and share his thoughts, I had to be honest and share mine.  As per my usual, I spent time inside myself first.  I was utterly broken and felt more rejected by him than I ever remember feeling in all our lives together.  I spent days feeling just hollow.  I no longer felt that I belonged at his feet.  I no longer felt that what I was giving to him was any more than being an annoying partner and a cheap slut.  He can make me squirt cum.  I didn't want to cum, I didn't deserve to cum.  It was ugly and selfish and I couldn't believe I ever let go like that.  I hated ever wanting more than love with him.  I fell so easily into wanting to serve him that it ripped my soul out as I had to remind myself that I had no place at his feet.  And most certainly, that ever wanting to cum/be spanked/tied up/fucked/dominated just solidified how off track I was.

When I finally did talk it was because my sadness became unbearable.  I couldn't breathe.  I laid in our bed and felt, hopeless.  He thought I was angry- and that’s when I found my voice.  I’m actually not angry at all...I’m just......sad.  You said that you married the old Pearl but this is me too.  I remember crying, unable to find my breath for so long.  He asked me if doing all those things really felt like love to me, and without a moment of thought, I answered him.  Yes.  Complex question with a very simple answer.  Yes.  The fact that he asked me that question made me think that he had already decided on his answer.  I had chosen to submit to him and trust him unconditionally, and I felt that I would soon be agreeing to end this part of us.  He held me and I felt as though I was grieving.

I don’t ever want to come like I do anymore.  I almost whispered it out.  My head on his chest my arms and body facing his.  I was curled so tightly into him I wanted to feel no separation.  He softly asked me Why?  Again, I whispered Because it's stupid.  I think he felt my sadness in that moment.  He held me so close and lovingly and told me how much he loves me and how much he loves that I can cum for him.  I explained myself as best I could.  Being this for you has made me feel…alive!  I don’t want a pillow on the floor just to fuck you on.  I want a pillow on the floor when I sit next to you.  It makes me feel feminine.  To remind me of what I’m doing and where I belong with us.  He had no idea.  How could he.  I asked for a pillow in the middle of sucking his cock I’m sure.  

The night he (almost) broke my heart…..Oh thank God for HAPPY ENDINGS!   He told me that the last few days had been horrible.  Those very days that I felt I was giving him what he wanted.  Those very days I worked so hard to avoid serving and submitting to him.  Those very days that I stayed off my knees and off the floor and out of our bed.  Those very days that my heart was being torn out and ruined. 

I was on my back next to him, naked.  My legs open as his right hand slides up my inner thigh, fingers dipping inside me, whispering into my ear. Cum for me.  Oh how I like the warmth of his words in my ear. Sliding fingers in and up.  He knows my body so well.  Cum for me, babe.  His left arm curled around the back of my head as he takes my nipple between his fingers, squeezing and rolling.  Pain is so closely related to pleasure for me.  I push against his hand to feel, more.  My orgasm builds and I shook my head no over and over to make the sensations go away.  Equal parts of wanting to give him anything he asked for and never wanting to offer myself as a gift worth receiving ever again.  A true hell for a wife who has no need for her own heart, everything I have/am/will ever be is wrapped up in one simple truth.  I was made for him.  My intent in life is for his to be better and brighter.  How could I ever do that if I wasn't seeing myself as a gift for him?  I came.  Not because I wanted sex or because I wanted to be touched or because I wanted to be taken care of.  I came because he told me that HE wanted me to.  I came because I love him and he loves me right back.